


When you kiss me, I wanna die

by Ceilidh (ChaseAwayMyFears)



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-22
Updated: 2014-07-09
Packaged: 2018-01-16 15:34:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 32,706
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1352632
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChaseAwayMyFears/pseuds/Ceilidh
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Seven minutes is enough to have your world turned upside down.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> My first RT/AH fic. As always, not edited or beta'd. I've not even read through it. If there's anything drastically wrong let me know. I have no idea if 'Seven Minutes in Heaven' is still a thing. It's just the idea that came to mind. Also, I'm British, so if any spellings or phrases etc seem off, that will probably be why. I'll try my best, though. Please enjoy!

Gavin had never liked high school house parties. Having only been in Texas for a few months, he didn't really know anyone, and the few people he did know knew everyone else and so he always, at some point or another, got left on his own. 

It was at these times that he searched for the alcohol. 

He squeezed his way through the mass of gyrating bodies, his heart seemingly pounding to the raucous music. He'd never been good with crowds; he always ended making a fool of himself. When he reached the kitchen, he was disappointed. The only alcohol left was whatever was lying around in back washed red cups. He was not touching them. The thought alone made him queasy and cough. He sighed, condemned to a sober night alone, when a hand landed on his shoulder. 

"Vav! " shouted a boy in his ear. He was Gavin's best Puerto Rican friend, Ray. 

He didn't drink, so maybe Gavin wasn't so alone after all. 

"Hey, Ray. What's up?" 

"Okay, so there's a game of seven minutes in heaven starting and we're gonna play. I mean, yolo, right? It's not often I attend one of these gigs regularly. I'm gonna make the most of it. And you're gonna help me through it."

"Seven minutes in heaven?" Although he was British and this was an American game, he knew what it was, and what it entailed. "What are we? Thirteen?" 

"Hey, come on. It'll be... an experience. Yolo!" 

Gavin rolled his eyes but followed his friend nonetheless. Yolo. Right. 

There was already a circle forming in the lounge. Gavin spotted hit other friends, Barbara, Chris and Jordan sprawled out on the rug. 

"Gavin! Ray!" They greeted, patting the floor beside them. "Are you gonna play?" 

Gavin shrugged and nodded. "Sure. Nothing better to do than faff about here." 

Soon there was a circle of around twenty people lounging around, chatting.

And then a voice shouted out as the music quietened, and everyone shut up with it. 

"All right, dickbags. Time to play. Rules are as follows; spin the bottle. Whoever it lands on, you and they fuck off into the closet for seven minutes. Do what you like, just don't get spunk on Griffon's coat." Everyone laughed, including Gavin. 

Geoff, the person hosting the party and seemingly the game, was a close friend of Gavin's. He and his girlfriend, Griffon, had also been kind enough to put him up for however long he stayed in Austin. Griffon was away visiting her mother, and Gavin missed her. So did Geoff, Gavin knew, and thought that was why he was making such a fuss over these stupid games. 

"So, without further ado, GO!" 

A boy Gavin only knew by name - Jon - spun first and loped off to the closet with a girl Gavin didn't know. There was a lot of catcalling and jeering, and when the couple came out they were red in the face and holding hands. 

This happened again and again; two people hesitantly entered, and either came out flustered and red, or emerged as though nothing had ever happened. 

Ray ended up with Barbara and although they made a lot of commotion, everyone knew nothing had happened, though they still emerged red faced, though that was probably due to physical exertion than from making out. 

And then it was Gavin's turn to spin. He sighed and, taking a hold of the empty beer bottle, flicked his wrist and watched it spin. 

And spin. 

And spin. 

And then it started slowing down. 

And then it stopped. 

On Michael Jones. 

Everyone was silent. Michael and Gavin were famous around the school for their rivalry and animosity towards each other. 

After some glaring, Michael broke the silence. "I'm not going with him." 

"Me either," Gavin spoke up, though his voice was meek in comparison to Michael's rage. 

"Rules are the rules," said Geoff with a smirk. "In you go." 

Michael glared, looking as though he was trying to set Gavin alight with his gaze. 

"Fine," he bit out eventually, standing and storming into the closet, leaving Gavin no choice but to follow. 

Eyes followed him the entire way as he tried not to fall over his two-big feet. 

When he was inside the cupboard, he closed the door, plunging them into darkness. 

It was a small closet, with not even enough room to sit down. 

"Well," Gavin remarked. "This certainly is heavenly." 

"Shut the fuck up," Michael growled quietly. 

And so they stood there in silence. Gavin started silently counting the seconds and got to two minutes seventeen seconds before Michael said anything. 

"Are we doing this or what?"

Gavin frowned, but then remembered Michael couldn't see him and wanted to slap himself.

"What?" 

"’ _Wot_ ’?" Michael mocked. "Are we making out or not?"

"Y-you _want_ to make out with me?" Gavin didn't know whether to laugh or run. 

"No, I don't fucking _want_ to. But there's nothing else to do for the next five minutes." 

"Uh... fine. Where are you?"

"Oh for the love of God."

He felt Michael reach out for him hut all he ended up doing was stamping on his foot and slapping him round the face. 

"Ouch! Watch what you're bloody doing!"

He didn't get an apology but he didn't get hit again either. Rough hands patted his arms and his head, his shoulders, his neck, until they found his face and a thumb ran over his lips. 

Gavin didn't have a chance to revel in how nice it felt, all things considered, before Michael mashed their lips together. 

Gavin expected a lot of things; a quick peck and then to be spat at, or aggression - all teeth and bruises. He didn't expect sweetness. He didn't expect soft lips on his own, one hand on his cheek and the other in his hair. He didn't expect to _enjoy_ it.  
He sighed into the kiss and relaxed a little. The whole thing was soft and gentle and it made Gavin's toes curl. 

Then he felt a soft, warm tongue gliding over his bottom lip, which he certainly wasn't expecting. 

A small whimper escaped him and he swore he felt Michael smile against his lips as his tongue found Gavin's. 

They stood there, wrapped in each other, lost in the kiss. 

And then there was a knock at the door and the moment was shattered.

They sprung apart as though burned and Gavin felt his face heat up. 

"Uh, guys?" Geoff called tentatively. It was still silent outside. "Time’s up. You've not killed each other, have you? The same rule applies for blood as it does jizz, y’ know." 

They stared at each other, shock evident on both of their faces. 

_Did that really just happen?_ reverberated around the cupboard. 

But then down came the shutters on Michael’s defences and the stony face was back. He stormed out of the closet, almost knocking Geoff over in the process, (“Oi, watch it, fucker”) leaving Gavin to pull himself together and trail after him. 

When he took his place back in the circle next to Barbara, he was met by three raised eyebrows from his friends. He just shook his head, refusing to talk about it. 

After a few silent, frosty moments, the party resumed and everything was forgotten. 

Gavin kept shooting what he hoped were surreptitious glances at Michael, and a few times he had caught the other boy staring back. That would cause them both to look away sharply with rosy cheeks and racing hearts. 

The game went on for another hour or so, the circle growing smaller and more pissed as time went on. Gavin had been paired with Ray, which resulted in hysterics as they made the most obscene, overly played sex noises they could muster. 

Michael had left the circle soon after his time with Gavin. It took a while for Gavin to put what had happened in that dark closet to the back of his mind, but when someone announced more alcohol had arrived, he was able to drown it out with cheap beer and throat-stripping whiskey. 

“X-Ray! Buddy!” Gavin slurred from one of the many couches later in the night. 

It was heading into the two AM region and the police had already been to the house once to tell them to quieten down. 

“Vav!” Ray played along, throwing himself down beside his friend. “So,” he smirked, nudging Gavin in the ribs. “How was it?” 

“How was wh- ugh… how was what?” Gavin managed to get out without puking. 

“You know. The big bad wolf, Michael Jones.” Ray’s eyebrows wriggled suggestively and Gavin rolled his eyes. 

“Nothing happened, X-Ray. He was a … _gentleman_.” 

Ray snorted. “I don’t believe that for a second.”

“What?” Gavin frowned, losing track of the conversation. 

“Any of it. _Something_ happened, and Michael is certainly not a _gentleman_.” 

Gavin chuckled at that last part whilst taking a swig of his beer and spilling it down his shirt. He frowned at the dark stain it left behind. “Nothing happened, Ray. Why would anything have?” 

“Because you-” Ray started with a sly grin but was interrupted. 

“Yeah, why would I do anything with _him_?” Michael laughed harshly, having obviously overheard, or eavesdropped on, their conversation. 

Gavin looked up at him in surprise. When did he get there? Gavin wasn’t surprised, however, to discover he was almost as drunk as Gavin was. His face was flushed and he was swaying on his feet. His eyes met Gavin’s, he frowned – it wasn’t the glare Gavin expected. 

“Nothing happened, Narvaez. You hear that?” he said louder so as the rest of the party could hear. “ _Nothing happened in that fucking closet_.”

Everyone one stared until Michael glared at them, then they found the floor and ceiling very interesting, or were involved in very animated conversations.

Michael then turned his glare on Gavin. “I need to speak to you. Now.” Then he walked off, leaving Gavin no choice but to follow for the third time that night. Gavin just caught Michael leave through the back door, and pushed through the remaining bodies and out into the back yard.

It was dark and for the hundredth time since living with Geoff, he cursed the older man for never getting his porch light fixed.

“Michael?” Gavin called tentatively, walking around the corner of the house.

Then he found himself pinned up against the side of the house with a growling Michael in his face.

“I swear to fucking fuck if you said anything about what happened earlier I’ll fucking gut you. Understood? Breathe a word of what happened and you’re dead. It was nothing but a fucking mistake.”

Gavin nodded meekly.

And with that Michael stormed off back through the house, and a moment later Gavin heard the front door slam shut.

At four in the morning, there was still a few straggling party-goers. Ray had fallen asleep on the couch and Gavin and Geoff had just left him there. Gavin had passed out on the kitchen floor and Geoff took it upon himself for kick him every time he stumbled past.

By sunrise, everyone minus the people who lived there (and Ray), had finally left the house.

When Gavin woke up Sunday afternoon, his face stuck to the kitchen floor and his shins feeling rather tender, he sadly remembered everything.

He heaved himself into a sitting position, ignoring the pounding in his head that tried to floor him again, and sighed.

Getting completely wasted was supposed to wipe his memories, not make them more prominent. He groaned, clutching his head, and heard someone laugh behind him.

“Heavy night, Gavin?”

Gavin snapped his head round and instantly regretted it; it felt like someone was trying to rip his eyes out of his forehead. “Ugh, Griffon, it hurts so much.”

“Poor sweetie. Would you like some water?” Griffon offered, still chuckling. Gavin gratefully accepted the cool glass, and the two aspirin, also. “It seemed like you had a good time. I’m sorry I had to miss it.”

Gavin just grunted and sipped at his water. Around half an hour later, Ray came stumbling in the kitchen, too, looking worse for wear considering he doesn’t drink.

“Oh, hello, Ray. Did you sleep well?” Griffon greeted, handing him the cup of coffee she had just made for herself.

“Thanks. No, your couch is fucking uncomfortable as hell,” he grumbled.

“Well, you look better than Gavin, at any rate.”

And then in walked (although it was almost a crawl) Geoff, still looking completely trashed.

“Griffon!” he said, his voice slurring a little. “You’re home early. Is everything okay?”

“Of course. Mom didn’t stop complaining and I wanted to come home anyway, so we thought we’d leave. Sorry I had to miss the party. It looks like you had fun,” she laughed lightly.

“Yeah, it was great. I missed you though, babe,” he sighed, taking his girlfriend in his arms. It was a nice moment, promptly ruined by Gavin half sprinting, half falling over to the sink and emptying his stomach into it.

“I’m never drinking again,” he groaned, causing everyone to laugh. They all knew _that_ wasn’t true.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As usual, not edited, beta'd or read through. I don't usually bother because I know if I read through my work, I'll never get the confidence to actually post it. 
> 
> I'm sorry if this chapter is crap, but I had some trouble with it. I'm thinking this up as I go along; I'm not really one for planning ahead. I have a vague idea for what I want to happen in the future, but no idea how to get there. You'll just have to bear with me, I'm afraid. Also, sorry it's a tad short.

When Monday morning rolled around, Gavin felt queasy, and not solely because he drank way too much at the party. 

He'd have to face Michael. Normally this wasn't a problem. They'd do what they could to avoid each other, or bitch and bicker in the hallways until they were told to move along. 

But Gavin had a bad feeling that would have changed after Saturday night. He’d thought about it a lot; why had Michael even gone along with it? Why had _he_ , for that matter? Gavin had expected… well, he hadn’t expected anything. He didn’t even expect Michael to allow their pairing to happen. 

But it had all been a mistake, that’s what Michael had said. And it was. It never should have happened. Gavin Free and Michael Jones were as close to enemies as you could get without sounding ridiculously melodramatic. They hated one another, and had done since they’d met on Gavin’s first day of school. 

He’d remembered when he’d first started at the local high school. He was going into sophomore year, the second year of high school, and halfway through the first semester to boot. Everyone there would know each other already; they’d know who they liked and who they didn’t. They’d have their friends and cliques and know who to ask for help with homework and who to avoid at all costs. Gavin was walking into a jungle, unarmed and blindfolded with his hands tied behind his back. 

Geoff, being in his senior year, would be leaving at the end of the school year, so Gavin really hoped he could fit in and make some friends of his own, and who were of his own age. 

Geoff had driven them to school, Gavin sat in the back as Griffon seemed to have infinite shotgun. He’d stayed with Gavin until the bell rang and he had to leave for homeroom, whilst Gavin headed to the front office to pick up his schedule. 

Seeing he had Chemistry first period and only five minutes to find his way to the other side of the school, he set off nervously. He’d finally found the right block he needed to be in when he heard shouting. 

He couldn’t make it out, but it didn’t sound friendly.

As he rounded the corner, he saw two boys arguing. One had russet curls and was crowding the other boy against the lockers. Gavin knew he should stay away; it had nothing to do with him, after all. But no one else was stopping to help the other boy. How long before shouting turned too fists? 

As he approached, he called out, “Hey! Lay off.” 

Both the boys looked in his direction, momentarily distracted from their fighting. 

The red haired boy’s shock melted into irritation. “Who the fuck are you?” 

“Does it matter? Just back off.” 

The shorter boy opened his mouth to say something but Redhead beat him to it. “Why don’t you back off? This is between me and my friend here. Get to class.” 

“Do you rag on your friends a lot?” Gavin asked innocently, though he felt his lip curl in distaste. He’d dealt with bullies before, though he was usually in the smaller boy’s place. 

Redhead had left the other boy leaning against the lockers and started approaching Gavin, but considering he was a few inches shorter than the Brit, he wasn’t as intimidating as he seemed to think he was. 

“Fuck off. Where do you get off shoving your nose in other people’s business?” He pushed against Gavin’s chest, not hard, but still enough to knock him off balance. It was lucky the teacher had decided then to see what was going on, because Redhead looked ready to swing. 

“Michael, not this again. Get inside. And you two,” he said, spotting Gavin and the other boy. 

As they trailed into the classroom, the other boy mumbled, “Thanks. I had it covered, but thanks.” Gavin laughed and nodded. “I’m Ray, by the way. You’re the new guy, aren’t you?” 

Gavin nodded again. “I’m Gavin. Who was that other guy?” 

Ray rolled his eyes. “That’s Michael. Don’t worry about him. He’s soft as shit under all that armour.” 

Perhaps he was, but he hadn’t acted so to Gavin. His armour had gotten tougher in regards to the Brit. Ray and Gavin had become fast friends after that first day, bonding over video games. It turned out he was friends with Geoff, too, and Gavin fit into their group of friends perfectly. They all thought he was an idiot with his made up words (“They’re real words in England, honest!”) and constant optimism. 

It just so happened, however, that Michael was also part of the group, which often made for great entertainment whenever Gavin and Michael were forced into the same room. Gavin had tried to get to know Michael but he was always knocked down. To Michael, Gavin was an annoying prick who needed to learn to keep his fucking mouth shut and leave him the fuck alone. 

Gavin had learned, however, to find Michael’s rage towards him amusing as much as he could. But, for the most part, they completely ignored each other, which cause a bit of a rut in the group of friends, but it was dealt with easily enough. Their mutual ignorance was easy to ignore.

On the Monday after the party, he had the same scheduled lessons as his first day. Chemistry with Ray and Michael, as well as Gavin’s other friends, Barbara, Kerry, Chris and Miles; one of Gavin’s favourite teachers, Mr Burns, taught the class. 

“In, in, in; I don’t have time for your antics today, guys. Just get in the bloody class,” Mr Burns griped. His impatience was always worse on Monday mornings. 

Gavin took his seat with his friends and started getting ready for the lesson. 

“Put your stuff away; you’re not going to need it today. Pop quiz!” 

The entire class groaned, and then laughed when Ray slammed his head on the table. 

“Enough of that, Mr Narvaez,” Mr Burns chided, though he was badly hiding a smirk of his own. “Just get on with your text. You have fifty minutes. Time starts… now.” 

Pens hit paper and the room as filled with the noise of scrawled guesses and few correct answers. Every few minutes someone sighed and then heavily scribbled something out, only to sigh again. 

Gavin glanced over to Ray only to find he had his head resting on his arms, half asleep. 

About half an hour into the test, Gavin felt eyes burning into the back of his skull. He ignored them in favour of jotting down the answer to his current problem. 

Five minutes later and the hole in the back of his head was growing. He glanced at Mr Burns to make sure he wasn’t paying attention, and then looked around to see who was so interested in the back of his head. 

He saw Michael staring at his paper unseeing, jaw clenched, cheeks pink at being caught. Gavin sighed and turned back to his own paper. 

When Mr Burns called time, there was a collective sigh of relief. 

“Man, that was fucking hell,” Ray muttered. 

“Oh yeah? Did you have a bad dream?” Gavin quipped, grinning. Ray flipped him off, shoving his stuff into his bag as the bell rang. 

“I saw Michael looking at you,” Ray commented as they walked to their next class.

“Uh, y-you did?” Gavin muttered, wondering why he was suddenly tripping over his words. 

Ray snorted. “Did I fuck. But now I know he was. I know something happened on Saturday.” 

“For God’s sake, Ray! Nothing happened!” 

Ray just grinned and walked off, leaving Gavin at the door to his next class. 

\--

The day dragged on until lunch finally rolled around. Food tray in hand, he scanned the cafeteria for his friends. He frowned, seeing their usual table empty except for a familiar redhead. Gavin sighed and ambled over, refusing to hide. Maybe they could talk. 

“Michael,” Gavin greeted as he sat down. Michael didn’t even look up from the game he was playing on his phone. 

“Michael, I-”

“What did I tell you?” the red head growled suddenly, his expression dark as he finally met Gavin’s face. 

Gavin sighed. “We need to talk about it.” 

“We did. I said you were to never mention it. It was a mistake.” 

“It was your idea.” 

Michael jumped up, getting ready to shout, but luckily for Gavin, his friends appeared at Michael’s side and pushed him back into his seat. 

“Sit down, Michael. You’re making yourself look like a fool,” Geoff admonished, winking at Gavin. 

Michael sneered at the elder boy and slumped back in his seat, resuming his game. 

“So, Gavino,” said Geoff through a mouthful of sandwich. “How’s your day been?” 

Gavin frowned. Geoff never took much interest in Gavin’s day. Not until it was over, that was. 

“Uh, fine?” Geoff nodded, glancing between him and Michael. 

“Good. So, how about the new DLC coming out for Titanfall?” And then half the table dissolved into a conversation about video games. 

As much as Gavin loved video games, he wasn’t feeling it, and someone noticed. 

“Are you okay, Gavin?” Griffon said softly, resting her hand on his for some comfort she though he deserved. 

“What? Oh, of course!” he grinned, shaking off the dark clouds in his head he didn’t know we accumulating and stabbing his fork into his cake.   
And still Griffon frowned. “Are you sure? You know you can talk to me or Geoff. You’re practically family.”

Gavin glanced at Michael subconsciously and then nodded. “Of course I know. You guys are the best, but I’m honestly fine. Still feeling a little worn out from the party, is all.” 

If Griffon was still concerned, she dropped the matter anyway with a small smile. “Good; just as long as you know.” 

Gavin tried to catch Michael after lunch but he had left before Gavin even had the chance to clean away his lunch things. 

When the end of day bell rang, Gavin headed to his locker to grab what he’d need for the night and put away what he didn’t. As he approached, however, he saw two people crowded against it. 

It was Michael and his long-time girlfriend, Lindsay. Lindsay and Gavin shared a few classes and Gavin liked her well enough, but they were part of different groups, so didn’t know each other very well. Still, he didn’t know what she saw in Michael, of all people. 

Gavin cleared his throat to try and get their attention. Nothing. He coughed louder, but there was still no response. 

Gavin tapped Michael’s shoulder which caused him to leap backwards as though Gavin had burned him. 

“ _Don’t fucking touch me_!” he shouted suddenly, his voice echoing through the emptying corridors. “Stay the fuck away from me.” 

“You’re the one stood at my locker.” 

Michael looked taken aback at that for a moment, but then was back to his usual frowning self. “Just leave me alone.” 

“Can we just-”

“No! Fuck off! Come on, Linds,” he snapped and dragged the poor girl down the corridor and around the corner, out of sight. 

Gavin sighed heavily and slammed his locker open so hard it bounced back in hit him in the face. He heard laughter behind him and turned to find Geoff stood there, with Griffon by his side. She looked concerned again, but she didn’t say anything. 

“You ready to go home?” Geoff asked, slinging Gavin’s bag over his shoulder. 

Gavin looked down the corridor Michael had just walked down and sighed. All he wanted was to talk. What harm could it do? 

He turned back to face his friends and grinned. "As I'll ever be," he said, and followed them out of the school and on to home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a quick note; I love Lindsay. I love Juggey as much as the next person, but I also love Mavin, so for the sake of this fic, I may take advantage of her kindness a tad. Mavin is endgame at the end of the day. I hope you enjoyed reading!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I rewrote this chapter twice before landing on this. This was not what I was expecting to write so... you'll have to bear with me. 
> 
> Here in England - at least the part I live in - we don't actually do these baby project things. When I was looking it up, Real Baby Care cropped up a lot, so that's what I went with. I'm going into this blind. If you've done one of these projects or whatever and notice anything I've made up is drastically unbelievable, please let me know.

“I heard you got into a fight today,” Ray said with a smug grin on his face. 

When Gavin had got home, Griffon had roped Geoff into ‘having a talk’ with him. With Gavin and Geoff, that translated to ‘have an argument until they’ve shouted themselves hoarse. It didn’t always happen; Geoff was like a very young father figure to Gavin, but Geoff had a temper and Gavin liked to wind people up; it wasn’t a good combination, especially when touchy subjects were involved. 

Gavin had escaped to his room as soon as he could. The words ‘I’m fine’ had lost all coherent meaning to him. 

He’d been talking with Ray ever since. 

“News travels fast on the grapevine. But how did you hear it if you never go outside?” 

Ray laughed sardonically. “Funny. What happened; lovers’ tiff?” 

“Yeah, definitely; we were arguing over what colour to paint the kitchen,” Gavin deadpanned. “It wasn’t a fight, anyway. It was just a…disagreement.” 

“What was it about?” Ray nosed. He usually stayed out of other people’s business; he knew it wasn’t his place to go sticking his nose in. But when it came to Gavin, he had to know everything. (I’m your best friend! No secrets. I told you about that time that that girl stuck her-” “ _Enough_!”)

“Does it matter?” 

“I don’t know,” said Ray, turning serious for a moment, staring into his webcam dramatically. “Does it?” 

“No, it doesn’t. It’s stupid.” But it wasn’t stupid. Not to Gavin. All he wanted to do was _talk_. Was that so hard for Michael? 

“Is it about Saturday?” 

“No. Nothing happened Saturday.” 

Ray just hmph’d. “If you say so, buddy.” 

That was one of the things Gavin liked about Ray; he pushed things, which was frustrating, but most of the time, he knew when to _stop_ pushing things. 

After that, they drifted into friendly banter and talked about video games until the sun came down and midnight rolled around. 

When Gavin woke up, the dregs of his hangover had finally worn off and he was feeling determined; he was going to talk to Michael whether he liked it or not. He wouldn’t let him walk away. He wouldn’t shout. He would stand his ground. Because they needed to talk it through; it was fraying both their nerves. 

When he was called downstairs, he went willingly instead of waiting for Geoff to start swearing that they were going to be late and dragging Gavin down the stairs by his ankle.  
Geoff looked up from his coffee and bacon with a raised brow. “You’re up early. Did you piss the bed?” 

“I smelt Griffon’s cooking,” he grinned, almost salivating. Griffon laughing lightly, placing a plate almost overflowing with bacon and eggs in front of the Brit. Considering how slim the boy was, it was amazing how much he could put away. 

When he was finished shovelling his breakfast down his gullet, they left for school. Gavin, or more precisely, Gavin’s stomach, had always hated the way Geoff drove, and this morning was no exception. 

“Geoff, if you don’t slow down, I’m gonna puke all over the back of your head.” 

“Well, you’ll be washing my fucking hair then, won’t you? You shouldn’t have eaten so fucking much.” 

“But it was so _good_ ,” he whined, clutching his stomach. 

Geoff snorted and put his foot down. 

Gavin was thankful when they parked up. They were earlier than usual, more than likely due to Gavin’s punctuality. 

When he was feeling more human and his stomach had stopped beating it’s wings, they headed into the main building. It was strange walking through almost empty halls. The only time Gavin had seen it this dead was when he’d gotten detention one time, on his own, for two hours after school. He’d had to walk home because Geoff had refused to pick him up. He couldn’t even remember what it was for now. 

“What have you got first, Gavino?” Geoff asked, swinging his and Griffon’s clasped hands between them like they were little kids. Gavin loved their relationship; how content they were with each other.

"Uh..." Gavin turned away to look at his timetable. He couldn't remember if it was French or Physics, and as they were either side of campus, it was easier to check than guess. 

When he'd dug through all the shit in his bag and finally found the piece of paper, he grinned, but it soon fell from his face. 

"Uh, I'll see you guys at lunch," he called as he ran down the hall. 

"Michael! Michael, please, wait." 

He'd seen the redhead walk through the front doors, and he was alone, providing Gavin with ample opportunity to talk. 

"Mich-" 

"You don't get the fucking hint, do you?" Michael shouted as he spun around to face Gavin, his eyes alight with rage. "Which part of 'fuck off' do you not understand?"

"I just want to talk."

"There's nothing to talk about!"

"Please, can we not argue here? I have a free third period. Can you meet me in the quad then?"

"No. I have class, dipshit."

"Since when was Michael Jones afraid to skip one measly class?" 

"I'm not afraid," he growled out, his hands clenching into fists. "Fine, I'll meet you, if it'll get you off my fucking back."

As Michael stormed off, a small smile graced Gavin’s face. _Well, that was easier than I thought it would be_. 

The first three hours of school dragged; every second felt like a year and the walk between classes felt like he was walking through molasses. When the bell for third period rang, Gavin was out of his seat like a bullet from a gun. 

“Wait, a minute, Mr Free; I’d like to have a word.” 

\--  
Michael stood in the quad, arms crossed, leaning with his back against the north wall, becoming more frustrated with every second. The quad was a small courtyard that nobody used anymore. Michael didn’t know what had happened to make everybody avoid it, but years without attention and it had fallen to disrepair; there was ivy growing up the walls and a thousand cracks in the floor. There was an awful smell in the air, too. That alone was enough to keep anyone away. 

Michael sighed heavily. He didn’t even know why he was here, why he had agreed to meet Gavin. Since the party, he’d been doing everything he could to forget about what happened. He had Lindsay. He loved Lindsay. What he and Gavin did was a mistake, nothing more. 

But it hadn’t felt like a mistake. And Michael didn’t regret it as much as he knew he should, which infuriated him. He had to think about Lindsay. There was only Lindsay. 

Michael found himself lost in his own mind when something jabbed him in the back. He spun around to find Gavin looking sheepish. 

“Sorry I’m late. I got held back.” 

“I don’t care. What do you want?” Michael bit, his thoughts and Gavin’s tardiness making him more hostile than usual. 

“I wanted to talk.” 

“I told you, there’s nothing to talk about.” 

“There’s a lot to talk about. I don’t necessarily want to talk about… well… the party.” 

Michael’s eyes widened momentarily before he frowned. “What do you want, Gavin. I’m missing a very interesting class on amoebas or something.” 

Gavin snorted. “Mm, interesting,” he said, and Michael thought he was hesitating. He raised a brow to prompt him on. “What I want is to be… friends.” 

Michael almost laughed. “Why the fuck would you want that?” 

“Well, uh… we have all the same mutual friends. We’re the only rut in our group. So I, uh, I thought that if we became friends then… um… why do you hate me?” 

Michael frowned. The sudden change of subject tripped him momentarily. “What?” 

“Why do you hate me?” 

“Because you’re an annoying prick,” he said instantly, not even having to think about it. 

“So are you, but I don’t hate you.” Michael watched as Gavin’s face turned red. “I mean… I just want to be friends. Is that too much to ask? We can forget all about Saturday. It never happened. You… you’ve got Lindsay. Besides, I know the others are getting annoyed with our constant fighting.” 

Michael breathed a humorous laugh. “It takes more than saying we’re friends to actually be friends, you know.” 

Gavin’s face lit up then, confusing Michael as a lump formed in his throat. He frowned and swallowed hard a few times. 

“So you want to be friends?” Gavin had turned from pleading into an excitable three year old. 

“For fuck’s sake, Gavin.” 

“Okay, Okay, sorry. Can we at least try, for the others if not for me? Uh, I mean… whatever.” He stuck out his hand stupidly. 

Michael rolled his eyes. “Fine. For the others. Whatever.” 

Gavin grinned. Michael was going to regret this. 

\--

Last period of the day was health. Gabon had a bad feeling about this class, and his fears were confirmed when he saw the plastic babies on the desk. 

There was a sense of excitement buzzing through the female portion of the class, and a mutual feeling of dread vibrating through the boys. 

The dreaded Real Care Baby project. 

"Students," their teacher, a stuffy old man who smelt like sour milk, greeted them. "As you can see from your desks in front or around you, today you will be starting your project with the Real Care dolls. I will pair you up in a moment and hand out the information packs. 

"You will have these dolls with you at all times until end of day Friday. They will be turned on end of day today. They will be turned of during lesson times but you are still expected to have them with you. They will be on at breaks. 

"This project is worth forty percent of your final grade. It is compulsory. You and your partner are advised to spend as much time together, and to split the work appropriately. Do not expect to be able to give it to your partner and not help. You will fail. Now, partners."

Gavin sighed. Why did he have to spend four days with some random chick he didn’t know? As he looked around the class, he didn’t see a single girl he even knew the name of; he didn’t want to spend a number of days with a stranger bringing up a baby. He’d rather do it alone. 

His eyes had skirted over Michael on his survey of the female half of the class; he was amused to find that grumpy I-fucking-hate-this-and-don’t-know-how-to-have-fun expression on his face. Sure, Gavin wasn’t stoked about the project either, but he guessed it could be fun. 

Gavin was shook from his reverie by Mr Tompkins clearing his throat. 

“Now, on the ratio of girl-boy, there are a few more gentlemen than ladies, so there will be some male-male pairing. I trust you to be appropriate and sensible. When I’ve finished calling the pairs, you will find your partner and sit with them.” 

So Gavin didn’t have to worry about being partnered with a girl he didn’t know, but he did have to worry about being paired with a guy he didn’t know, which was worse, in his books. Girls were easy; most girls wanted babies anyway, and had that motherly instinct. He knew not everyone did, but all the girls in his health class seemed to. But they guys? They probably gave as much of a shit as Gavin did – or Michael, because Gavin was actually pretty excited. 

“Free, Gavin with Jones, Michael, please.” 

Great, there you go. Some- Wait what? 

“I said, Free, Gavin with Jones, Michael. That’s you, is it not, Mr Free?” 

It took a moment for Gavin to realise a) Tompkins was speaking to him and b) that he had actually spoken aloud. 

“Uh, yes. Sorry, sir.” Half the class sniggered and Michael glared at him. 

“Now,” Tompkins announced when he’d finished listing off the pairings. “Go and sit with your partners and read through the information documents I will be handing out. You are to fill out the diaries correctly. The diaries will help you with the written portion of your project. You may move.” 

Gavin didn’t move, however, expecting Michael to come to him for some stupid reason. 

It was when someone tapped him on the shoulder and tossed their thumb over their back that he got the message; Michael wasn’t doing anything for anybody. 

Dragging his bag over the empty desk next to Michael, he sat down. 

“Hi, Michael,” he said, looking at his new partner for the next few days. 

Michael rolled his eyes but looked over at Gavin anyway. “Hey, Gavin,” he finally responded, though his face was still stormy. 

It was silent between them for a few moments before Gavin spoke up once more. 

“Well, I guess this is the perfect opportunity to start becoming friends, eh?” 

Michael was shocked into laughing. Shaking his head, with what sounded to Gavin almost like affection, he said, “I’m gonna fucking kill you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here in England - at least the part I live in - we don't actually do these baby project things. When I was looking it up, Real Baby Care cropped up a lot, so that's what I went with. I'm going into this blind. If you've done one of these projects or whatever and notice anything I've made up is drastically unbelievable, please let me know. 
> 
> Also, just a quick note to let you know that I'm going to be on holiday for the next week or so and will be unable to update. I won't be able to write much, either, but I'll do my best and update when I get back in April. I hope you enjoyed reading.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait, guys. Still have no idea what I'm doing with this but I'm hoping to write up a plan or something so I'm not writing solely from the seat of my pants. I hope this chapter is all right, and I hope you enjoy!

“What are we going to name her, Michael? That’s the first question!” 

Michael regarded Gavin with a withering look. “Uh, I dunno. Sarah?” 

“No, I don’t like that name.” 

“Well, then why the fuck did you ask me?!” 

Gavin grinned, his excitement for the project, and the chance to finally get to know Michael, bubbling over. “Because, I thought you might have some good ideas.” 

Michael rolled his eyes. “What’s wrong with Sarah?” 

“I don’t know…” Gavin frowned and repeated it over and over until it lost all coherent meaning. “Nope, I don’t like it. What about… Haley?” 

“No way.” 

“Michael! We need a name for our baby!” 

“She’s a doll, Gavin,” the redhead deadpanned.

But Gavin grinned. “Then why did you call her ‘ _she_ ’, if she’s only a doll?” 

Michael resisted the urge to grab Gavin by the hair and slam his head into the table; he’d agreed to try and get along, though he wasn’t sure how long that would last. “I really am going to fucking kill you.” 

By the time the end of day bell had rung, they had decided on Emily, though the topic of whose last name she would have carried them all the way to Michael’s - and then Gavin’s - locker. 

“No fucking way is she going to be called Emily Free. That sounds like some airy-fairy hippy name.” 

Gavin whined, throwing books into his locker on whim. “But you don’t even care about this project!” 

“Who says I don’t? I want top marks too, y’ know. I’m not willing to flunk just because I was forced with you and a screaming doll for a week.” 

“You said she was just a doll!” 

“She is just a doll!” Gavin could see Michael was becoming impatient, and as he was currently holding the baby carrier with Project Emily inside, Gavin decided that maybe he shouldn’t push to far. But he couldn’t help himself. 

“Well, we’re still going to be her fathers for the next few days. And if we got married then-”

“Wow, you move fast, Michael. Did you even wine and dine Gav before you popped the question?” 

Gavin spun around to find Geoff and Griffon leaning against the lockers. When he turned back, Michael was scowling. “Piss off, Geoff.” 

Gavin chuckled and the glare was cast upon. He shut up quickly. 

“So how are we going to do this, anyway? You have her tonight and I’ll have her tomorrow?” 

Gavin shrugged. “I guess that’d work.” He didn’t know how these things usually worked. Mr Tompkins had just said they had to work together. 

“Why don’t you just stay at ours, Michael? Because I know that Gavin is going to need help, and I am not providing it. I’m hoping to sleep through the night.” 

Michael looked between Geoff and Gavin, the internal debate evident on his face.

Gavin was suddenly excited; if Michael stayed over for the rest of the week, they’d have plenty of time for the project, and to get to know each other. It would be perfect! 

“Uh, okay?” Michael said uncertainly. “I’ll need to check with mom though.” 

“Well, we can drop you off at yours and you can ask then. And you can grab some clothes while you’re at it.” 

Michael nodded, frowning a little. Gavin grinned at Michael and grabbed his wrist, dragging him down the hallway towards the parking lot. “It’ll be like a sleepover, Michael!” 

“No, it won’t. This isn’t a sleepover. No.” 

Geoff and Griffon laughed as they all headed for the car. 

\--

Michael didn’t live far from the school – perhaps a ten minute drive. When they pulled up, he clambered out, (not very) accidentally kicking Gavin in the shins as he did so. 

“I’ll be out in ten, then, I guess,” he shrugged and headed into his own house. This was a bad idea. Why did Geoff have to interfere? Michael was perfectly happy with splitting the workload with Gavin; he wasn’t so sure about sharing it. 

“Mom?” he called as he entered, throwing his bag onto the stairs out of habit. He’d pick it back up on his way out. 

“In here, Michael,” his mother’s voice drifted out from the kitchen. 

“Mom, I’m going to be staying at Geoff’s place until Friday.” 

“Are you now?” 

“Yeah. We were given that stupid baby doll assignment and I got landed with Gavin and-“ 

“Ah, Gavin again, is it?” 

Michael frowned, knocked off track. “What?” 

His mother just smiled innocently as she chopped carrots. “Well, he’s all you ever seem to be talking about recently. I’ve heard you curse him to the moon and back, call him every name under the sun. I wouldn’t have thought you two were friends, though.” 

“We’re not friends!” he said a little too quickly, causing his mother to chuckle. “We just got partnered up and Geoff thought it would be a good idea.” 

“Well, okay then. Go on, get out of here. I know how hard that project can be. Have fun!” 

Michael rolled his eyes and headed upstairs to grab clothes. He sometimes thought his mother was even more sarcastic than he was; he had to have gotten it somewhere, right? 

Ten minutes later and he was clambering into the car again. 

“Let’s get this over with,” he mumbled as Geoff pulled away. 

\--  
“Come in, come in! I’ll give you to tour!” Gavin said, practically bouncing on the balls of his feet. 

“I have been here before, you know.” The deflated Gavin; of course he’d been here before. Only a few days ago had they been here before. 

Gavin watched as Michael’s face reddened, feeling his own heat up. They just stared at one another, red faced, wide eyed, suddenly stuck back in the closet. 

The moment, if that's what it was, was shattered, however, by a piercing cry. 

Startled, they hadn't realise they'd taken a step towards each other, and stumbled back three spaces. 

"S-so I guess they turned the baby on," Gavin muttered, looking down at the baby carrier Michael was still holding. 

"We better go and shut her up?" 

Gavin frowned as Michael's voice rose in question, but then nodded and headed into the living room, trusting Michael to follow him and not run back out the door. 

Gavin managed to pull himself from his thoughts and throw himself back into Project Emily with gusto. 

“So, what do we have to do?” he said, almost shouting over the mechanical crying. 

“I don’t know; you read the information.” 

“No, I was just naming her. I thought you read it,” he grinned innocently. 

“Goddamn it, Gavin!” Michael shouted, and Emily seemed to scream louder. 

“Don’t yell around her!” Gavin yelled. “Maybe she needs feeding?” 

“Great. Where’s her bottle?” 

Gavin’s grin turned sheepish. “I may have accidentally left it in the car.” 

“ _God fucking damn it, Gavin_!” 

\--

Twenty minutes later and they had only just shut her up. Geoff had come in shouting about the noise and the fact that he couldn’t hear the mission details in his game. 

They’d tried everything; feeding her, changing her, rocking her, burping her, shaking her upside down by the leg (Gavin had only just managed to wrestle her from Michael’s grip, scared he was going to launch her against the wall and make them fail the project – they were sure to have at least one count of neglect by now; were babies supposed to cry this long and loud?) 

Finally, she’d decided that actually, yes, she was thirsty. And then she needed burping; and then changing. Oh, and then she’d decided to have a nap, even though they’d tried everything three times over already. 

Michael slumped on the couch when they’d finally settled her, and Gavin collapsed next to him. 

“Let’s never do that again,” he said, yawning. 

“Well, only four or so days to go.” 

Gavin groaned and tried to curl into Michael to hide from the responsibility but found himself on his back on the floor with a pissed off Michael towering over him. 

“What the _fuck_ do you think you’re doing?” 

Gavin gaped and sat up. “I didn’t to anything!” 

“Oh, no, it’s perfectly fine to straddle someone you barely know, is it? I knew this was a bad fucking idea.” 

Gavin watched him turn on his heel and storm off towards the front door. 

“Michael! Michael, wait!” Gavin called, picking himself up and running after him. 

The door slammed open and rebounded off the wall, almost knocking Gavin over as he chased after Michael. “For god’s sake, Michael, wait!” 

When he caught up the other boy, he grabbed his shoulder and tried to spin him around, but he was just shrugged off. 

“Michael!” He tried again to get his attention by grabbing his wrist. He thought he was successful when Michael spun round; less so when his fist made impact with his nose. 

He staggered back a few steps, clutching his face. “ _Fuck, Michael_!” 

“Leave me the fuck alone. I thought you wanted to be friends? I thought you were actually, for once, being sincere. I thought I’d give you a chance. I thought maybe I had you wrong.” 

“I was being sincere! I do want to be friends.” 

“Do you, Gavin? Is that all you want?” 

They were silent for a few moments, Michael breathing heavily from anger, Gavin trying to mop the blood from his nose with the sleeve of his t-shirt. He didn’t think it was broken, luckily. 

Eventually, when Michael had calmed down a little and the blood had mostly stopped, he met Michael’s eyes. 

“What if it’s not?” he said quietly. 

Michael frowned but didn’t say anything. 

“Michael, I-”

“ _GAVIN, I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOD IF YOU DON’T SHUT THIS THING UP IN THE NEXT TEN SECONDS I’M RIPPING IT’S VOICE BOX OUT._ ” 

Gavin spun around to find Geoff fuming at the end of the street, holding Emily by the skull. She dangled uselessly, emitting the loudest cry yet. 

Michael pushed past Gavin as he turned back around, taking the doll from Geoff and walking back into the house. 

Well, Gavin thought to himself as he walked back down the street, at least he’s not leaving me to do all the work. 

He found Michael in the kitchen, pacing with the baby in his arms, rocking her gently. 

Gavin smiled a little bit. “You’d make a good father,” he mumbled, not really meaning to say it aloud. He was ignored anyway. 

The Brit sighed. “I guess I’ll go and change.” He didn’t see Geoff as he walked back through the house and up the stairs. He must have gone back to his game. It was confirmed when a loud ‘fuck you’ followed by Griffon laughing drifted though their closed bedroom door. 

Gavin stood for a moment, trying to determine what he was playing, procrastinating going back downstairs. He thought he heard someone get up, however, and, remembering his bloody t-shirt, almost ran into his room and slammed the door. 

Peeling of the offending shirt, he sighed and slumped back onto his bed. Maybe this was a bad idea. Not them doing the project together – there was nothing they could do about that now; but them trying to be friends. Maybe it was just useless them even trying. 

They were known throughout the school for their rivalry – even the teachers picked up on it. 

Maybe they had come too far to turn full circle and be nice to one another. Maybe Gavin was pushing too far. 

His phone buzzed in his jeans before he could get too ravelled up in his thoughts. 

It was a text from Ray. 

_Heard you got landed with M for baby project. Your dreams coming true. ;)_

Gavin snorted and replied: 

_STFU. Just a project._

A few seconds later and his phone buzzed again. 

_No it’s not. Not to you. He’s been your thing since the beginning._

Gavin frowned. He didn’t want the conversation to go in this direction. Not after what had just happened. 

_Whatever. He’s not ‘my thing’._

He turned his phone off after hitting send and went to find a clean shirt. 

He’d just pulled out a purple striped polo when his door slammed open and crying met his ears

“Gavin, I can’t fucking- uh, shit, sorry,” Michael said, stammering a little at the end. Gavin pulled on his shirt, feeling, for the second time in an hour, his face heat up and a heavy awkwardness fill the room. 

“Its fine,” he said, turning his back and pretending to be busy with something on his bedside table. “What’s the matter? Is Emily okay?” 

“What? Oh, no, yeah, she’s, uh… she’s fine now, I guess.” And she seemed to be. She had quietened down considerably compared to when Michael had barged into the room. 

It was almost like she knew… Which was utterly ridiculous. 

“We’d better start filling out this diary shit,” Michael said, frowning. 

Gavin nodded turned back around, following Michael down the stairs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed. I really love hearing what you think so leave a comment. As usual, if there's anything wrong - spelling, anything drastically misrepresented etc - please let me know. The next chapter should hopefully be up within a week.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I always seem to have trouble with one half or the other; this time it was the end part. Apologies if it sucks. You should know the deal by now. I hope you enjoy this chapter and let me know if there's anything amiss. (:

**11 PM**

After two hours of solid crying despite having accepted the feeding and diaper change, Emily had finally settled down. 

They had decided to set up in Gavin’s room with Michael taking an air mattress the floor and Emily in her carrier on top of the dresser. 

When the wailing had stopped and there was finally some peace and quiet in the house, Gavin collapsed back onto his bed and sighed. 

“This is harder than I thought it was going to be.” 

Michael snorted. “Yeah, who knew parenting was hard work?” he said, sarcasm dripping from his mouth. 

“Do you think she’ll sleep through the night?” Gavin asked, hoping against hope. He knew that wasn’t possible. That’s basically what this project was about; how long can you go without sleep before you snap? If it were a scientific experiment, that would be the hypothesis.   
“No fucking chance.” 

Gavin buried his head under his pillow and groaned. 

**1 AM**  
Geoff burst into the room, hair point in every direction, his expression one of furious exhaustion. 

“Shut that fucking thing up!” 

“I can’t! She won’t stop!” Gavin cried, practically ramming the bottle down the doll’s throat. 

“Griffon and I need sleep! We have finals soon! Find a fucking way to shut it up or I will.” 

Gavin had already tried. It happened every time she cried; try feeding, changing , burping, rocking her and nothing works. Not initially, at least. 

“There’s nothing I can bloody do. If you don’t like it, go sleep somewhere else!” Gavin was getting just a frustrated as Geoff was; he understood he and Griffon had finals, but this was school work for him, too. He wasn’t doing it for shits and giggles. 

Geoff just stormed out and slammed the door. 

Gavin looked over at Michael and sighed. He was somehow still asleep, blanket around his waist. He was sleeping on his stomach and his bare back was exposed. Gavin didn’t realise he was staring until Michael shifted, Emily’s screaming finally breaking through his slumbering mind, and he almost jumped out of his skin. 

“Nngh, Gavin,” Michael moaned, pulling the pillow over his head. He said something but it was lost to the pillow. 

“What?” 

The pillow narrowly missed Gavin’s head as Michael threw it and sat up. “I said shut her up!” 

Gavin made a noise of pure annoyance and thrust the doll into Michael’s arms. 

“You bloody try! I’ve been up for the past hour.” 

“Gavin!” Michael tried giving the baby back but Gavin had already left the room. 

**2 AM**

Gavin had fallen asleep on the couch. It hadn’t lasted long. Michael came crashing down the stairs, swearing madly, shouting at Gavin. 

“She’s still fucking crying. I swear to fucking god I’m never having kids. It’s your fucking turn. She doesn’t like me.” 

As Gavin was asleep, he didn’t answer. 

Suddenly something heavy was dumped on his back and he was being shaken roughly. 

“Gavin!” Michael shouted in his ear. 

Gavin groaned and swung out with his hand, accidentally punching Michael in the face. 

Now he was awake. “Holy shit, sorry!” 

Michael glared but didn’t do anything, like punch back. “I’ll let you off this time; payback for yesterday.” 

Usually this would be the time for an awkward moment-with-a-capital-M, but it was ruined before it began; an overnight bag landed at the bottom of the stairs with a startling thump, (Emily’s cries grew louder) and Geoff followed, with a timid, half asleep Griffon close behind. 

“We’re going to Jack’s until Friday. I can’t put up with that fucking wailing any longer.” 

Jack was a part of the group, too. He was a teddy bear of a guy with a magnificent ginger beard, and a beautiful girlfriend, Caiti. They often preferred each other’s company to the huge group in the cafeteria, but spent a lot of time with the others outside of school. 

“It was your idea to stay here,” Gavin attempted to say but the look Geoff shot him made him shut up. Griffon looked at him, Gavin, apologetically and gave him a small hug before they left. 

“We’ll pick you up in the morning.” 

After they had left, Michael and Gavin turned their attention to Emily. 

One feed, two changes, a half an hour of rocking and another half hour on top of all of that and she was finally asleep. 

Exhausted, they slumped on the couch, pointedly at either end, as much space between them as comfortably possible. 

"We have another two nights of this," Gavin groaned and then yawned. He glanced over at Michael and saw he was looking at the TV cabinet. 

“Do you wanna try and get some sleep?” He frowned, realising too late how suggestive that sounded. Michael didn’t seem to notice, though. 

“I’d rather play video games,” he said with a small grin, the first real smile he’d given Gavin all night. 

Gavin chuckled and nodded; “All right, then. What do you feel like playing?” 

Michael shrugged. “What have you got?” 

Gavin full on laughed, and then slapped a hand over his mouth, remembering the sleeping doll a few feet away. “We’ve got everything. I think Minecraft is in there at the moment.” 

“That’ll do.” 

Gavin nodded and turned the console on, throwing a controller at Michael. 

**4 AM**

“Do you have any coal?” Michael asked, stumbling around in the dark, pick-axing his way through blackness. 

“Flynt Coal?” Gavin grinned, proceeding to open up his map. “I do. Where are you?” 

“Underground somewhere.” 

Spotting him on the map, Gavin headed for the little coloured marker. 

“Well stay still, then! I can’t help you if you keep walking away from me!” 

Finally, their coloured markers merged into one, and Gavin started digging. 

“Have you found any dia- AH! MICHAEL!” 

He’d just fallen into a lava lake and lost everything, including his life. 

“Well,” he said, sheepishly, glancing at Michael, who already knew what had happened due to the fact they were playing split screen. “I don’t have any coal anymore.” 

“God fucking damn it, Gavin!” Michael shouted too loudly. Emily started screaming. Gavin thought he could cry. 

**7 AM**

“Gavin…” someone was saying into his ear; groaning, he tried batting them away but they were persistent. Whoever it was, they were also shaking him. He wished they’d quit it; he was having a nice dream. 

“Gavin!” they said louder, shaking him harder. Blearily opening his eyes, he groaned as the light hit them. It was Griffon. Gavin frowned. Why was Griffon waking him up? 

“Gavin! Come on, you’ve got to get ready! School starts soon.” 

Right. School. Shit, school! 

He sat up too fast, his head spinning. Something was around his wrist and he fell back against the couch. He looked down at his arm, wondering what was leashing him, and found a hand clutching his wrist. Michael! 

“Michael, get up! We’re late!” Gavin ripped his arm from the other boy’s grip which succeeded in waking him up. 

He sat up and blinked, looking over at Griffon. “What happened?” 

Griffon chuckled. “I think you were up all night playing video games and neglecting your fatherly duties.” 

Gavin squawked then. “Oh, no! Emily! Where is she?!” He couldn’t see the carrier where he thought he’d left it. 

“She’s fine. She’s in the car. You can feed her on the way. Now go and get changed!” 

The two boys raced upstairs, tripping over their tired feet. 

Five minutes later saw them climbing gracelessly into Geoff’s car. He still looked pissed off. 

“Good morning,” he said despite his sour looks. 

Gavin groaned, handing a bottle to Michael so he could feed Emily. “Is it?” 

“Didn’t sleep so well, Gav?” Geoff sounded smug. 

“Did you?” 

Geoff grinned into the rear-view mirror as he pulled away; “Great, actually, after being turfed out of my own home.” 

“It was your idea to stay here!” Gavin protested, looking to Michael for help. He didn’t get any, though; just stony silence as he fed the doll and stared out the window. 

Geoff just grunted and put his foot down. 

Gavin and Michael didn’t have any lessons together that day. After an argument that carried them to both lockers, they decided that Gavin would have the doll until lunch and Michael would have her afterwards. 

Having to handle all his stuff as well as all of Emily’s stuff, and Emily herself in her baby carrier, turned out to be a bit more hassle than Gavin imagined. He knocked into numerous people with the carrier, dropped his bag twice and nearly fell down a flight of stairs, all before morning break. 

When the bell rang at the end of second period, Gavin could have danced. 

He fought his way through the halls until he reached his friends at their usual tables. 

Ray, Barbara, Geoff and Griffon were the only ones there. He greeted them and sat down with a sigh. 

“So,” drawled Ray quietly, so only Gavin could hear. “How’s fatherhood? How’s married life?” 

Gavin shot Ray a glare; usually he would be able to take the teasing on the chin, but after the past couple of days between him and Michael… it was a touchy subject. 

“Fatherhood sucks.” 

Ray laughed, and so did the others as Gavin had spoken aloud. 

“Geoff was saying you and Michael threw him and Griffon out of the house?” Barbara said, giggling. 

Ray smirked at Gavin. 

“We didn’t throw him out! He got pissed off because the baby was doing its job; crying.” 

Barbara laughed again. “Aw, it’s quiet cute, for a doll.” 

“She’s not cute at four AM,” Michael snapped as he collapsed in the only free chair, squashed against Gavin’s side. Gavin didn’t miss the smug look Ray sent him. He shook his head minutely and made himself look busy with Emily, a phantom hand suddenly clasped around his wrist. Suddenly his exhaustion hit him like a train.

“I really wanna bail,” Gavin mumbled, mostly to himself, but Geoff, who was sitting across from him and three tables down, heard him. 

“You will not, Gavin.” 

Gavin just rested his head on his arms, letting Emily lay on the table.

He heard Jack laugh and say, “Like you haven’t skipped class before.” 

“Yeah, well, Gavin should do as I say, not as I do.” 

Gavin jumped when the bell rang, half asleep. He jumped a second time as he felt a hand graze his leg as Michael reached to grab his bag. He really wished the lunch tables were bigger. 

The rest of the day was uneventful. He was glad when he could pass Emily over to Michael. It was one less thing to worry about. The amount of times he’d nearly forgotten her in a classroom… 

Finally, finally, the end of day bell rang. He was glad school was over but now he had to deal with a screaming baby all night. 

“I have an idea,” he said, yawning, as he met Michael at his locker. Michael looked at him, surprised, juggling his books, bag and Emily. “Why don’t we just lock her in a cupboard until Friday?” 

Michael snorted. “I thought you wanted to pass this? If we do this, we’re going to fail.” 

Gavin liked how he said ‘we’. But he shook that thought away and shrugged. 

“I would love sleep more.” 

“You can’t even handle one sleepless night?” Michael grinned, a glint in his eye. 

“I can handle a sleepless night. What I can handle is a doll that won’t-” Cue Emily starting to bawl. “-SHUT THE HELL UP!” 

Michael laughed and nudged Gavin with his shoulder, making the Brit stumble. 

“I bet you can’t go until Friday without sleep. No naps, so resting your eyes; just you, me and your video game collection.” 

Gavin may not have laughed if Michael hadn’t have yawned halfway through the wager. 

“Okay. Starting tomorrow, you, me, video games and Emily.” Gavin supposed they couldn’t really lock her in a cupboard. 

Michael frowned, considering. Catching another yawn, he grinned. “Okay. Starting tomorrow. Midnight tomorrow.” 

Gavin sighed but agreed; it would be pointless otherwise. It was Wednesday today; if they started tomorrow, it would only be one night, and they’d practically already done that. 

“What are the stakes?” 

Michael thought it over as they walked to Geoff’s car. Geoff and Griffon were going to drop them off and then go back to Jack’s. Geoff refused to spend time with a howling mecha-baby (‘I managed to dodge that project, and with good fucking reason’). 

“Fifty dollars.” 

“All right then. If you win, you get fifty dollars. If I win, I want a chance to get to know you.” 

Michael looked sideways at him. “Gavin,” he warned. 

“No, not like that; I want to be friends. I meant that.” 

Michael exhaled messily, frowning. “Fine. Fine, whatever.” 

Gavin grinned. This was going to be a breeze.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed! Feedback is always appreciated and loved.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry in advanced.

BEEP. BEEP. BEEP. BEEP. BEEP.

 

“Gavin!”

 

BEEP. BEEP. BEEP. BEEP. BEEP.

 

“For fuck’s sake, Gavin!”

 

BEEP. BEEP. BEEP. BE- “Ouch! Michael!”

 

“What’s the point in having an alarm if you’re not going to wake up when it goes off?”

 

“I don’t wanna get up,” Gavin whined, rolling over and pulling the duvet over his head.

 

Gavin heard rustling of a sleeping bag, stomping of bare feet on wooden flooring, and then felt tugging on the duvet. Surprised, it was pulled down to his waist before he was able to catch a hold of it.

 

“Michael! Stop it!” Gavin squealed, clinging fast.

 

Michael did stop and dropped the quilt. He then walked over to the alarm, picked it up and ripped it out of the wall.

 

“ _Michael!_ What the hell?!”

 

“I told you to shut it the fuck up. Now it’s shut up. Now you need to get up. Unless you want to give me fifty bucks now?”

 

Gavin sighed and sat up, running a hand through his hair. He tried not to notice the small fact that Michael was shirt- and bottomless, clad only in a pair of green boxers; he really did try.

 

Sighing harder he climbed out of bed and pulled on a sweater and a pair of track pants.

 

“Fine. How’s this going to work?”

 

Michael grinned, looking eerie in the low light from the streetlight outside.

 

“Simple. Stay awake until Friday afternoon; until the end of school at the very least. That makes roughly thirty-eight hours with no sleep.”

 

Gavin grinned, confidence squeezing its way past his fatigue.

 

“Fantastic. You feed Emily and I’ll get the coffee on.”

 

Looking slightly miffed about being bossed around, Michael did as he was bid nonetheless, and sat on the edge of the bed with Emily and her bottle. Gavin grinned at the picture they made as he drifted down to the kitchen.

 

He was surprised how complacent Emily had been over the past few hours. She’d gotten settled at around half nine and hadn’t made a noise since. It was nice for a few hours peace. Gavin hoped she’d stay this calm; he didn’t know if he could manage no sleep and a screaming child.

He was just pouring the coffee into two mugs when he heard footsteps behind him. He smiled a little, secretly loving how domestic it all was.

 

“I fed her. You can change her. I need coffee.” Gavin found out the first morning that Michael wasn’t a morning person. After his stunt this morning with Gavin’s quilt and alarm, he was surprised he was still coherent before his coffee.

 

Emily was shoved into his arms as he turned around with his own cup. Gavin rolled his eyes and put the mug back down and traipsed back upstairs to change her and fill in her diary.

 

“You could have brought her stuff down, Michael,” he remarked as he walked back into the kitchen.

 

Michael just grunted. There was toast on the breakfast table – enough for two. Gavin grinned but didn’t say anything, sitting down with his coffee. He didn’t care that it was barely past midnight; if Michael wanted to sit and eat breakfast with him then who was he to say no?

 

Half an hour later and they were bored out of their skulls, half asleep.

 

The peaceful silence was broken by crying from upstairs.

 

Gavin lifted his head from his arms and stared pointedly at Michael. Michael stared back. They were almost having a telepathic conversation.

 

You go. I'm not fucking going. Well neither am I.

 

Finally, Gavin sighed and rolled his eyes, standing up. He didn't miss the smug grin.

 

After a quick feed and gentle rock, Emily was back asleep. Gavin looked at his bed longingly. He wanted to crawl under the covers and sleep till noon, and if it weren’t for the bet and school, that’s exactly what he’d do.

 

Instead, he made sure Emily was settled and headed back downstairs.

 

He was surprised to find Michael lounging on the couch when he returned downstairs. The Xbox was on and Minecraft had been loaded, the world they’d made the previous night rendering on the screen.

 

Gavin jumped over the back of the couch, crashing into Michael when he landed too heavily and bounced over.

 

“Fucking hell, Gavin,” Michael frowned, not taking his eyes off the screen; he was deep underground, edging his way around a pool of lava.

 

Gavin grabbed the spare controller and joined the game. He spawned in the house they’d made, a small, hut-like structure, just big enough for a couple of beds and chests, and the standard crafting table and furnace.

 

Being made of wood, Gavin found it nigh on impossible to resist the urge to dump lava on their house. Glancing at Michael’s side of the screen and seeing he was busy concentrating on not immolating himself, Gavin grabbed the bucket of lava from his hidden chest two blocks under the back wall, built his way to the roof, and poured the molten liquid all over their work (he’d made sure to grab anything valuable beforehand – he wasn’t _that_ stupid).

 

When everything was sufficiently ablaze, he ran away and dug himself a quick mine, pretending to have been there all along.

 

Ten minutes later, when Michael resurfaced, Gavin was rewarded.

 

"God fucking damnit, Gavin! Every fucking time. Do you always build things up just to destroy them?"

 

Gavin just laughed, ducking the fist too late and ended up with a dead arm.

 

They played for hours, mining their way around the map and getting lost in abandoned mineshafts.

 

When it started getting light, they switched to Amnesia to keep them awake.

 

"Open the gate."

 

"What does it look like I'm doing?"

 

"Being a prick; why, what are you doing?"

 

"It won't open!"

 

"Click the- HOLY SHOT RUNRUNRUN!"

 

The monster behind the gate gave chase and, in their panic, they ran themselves into a corner and got mauled.

 

"Fucking hell!" Michael raged, slamming his fist on the desk. "It scared us right outta the game."

 

Gain was still squealing in fright but now they had both stopped shouting, crying could be heard from upstairs.

 

"You woke her up!" Gavin accused Michael, who scoffed.

 

"You were the one squealing like a pig; perhaps we should put you in the 'mach-een'."

 

Gavin laughed and pushed at Michael's arm. "It's your turn, Michael."

 

Michael sighed and slapped Gavin's hands away, but went to see to the doll regardless.

 

Seven o clock rolled around and hey heard the key in the lock as they were halfway through a game of Halo.

 

"Good morning, boys. Jesus Christ, did you sleep at all?" Griffon asked when she saw the xbox on and the red ringed eyes.

 

Two noncommittal grunts told her all she needed to know and she laughed.

 

"Well, hurry up and get showered and dressed. I'll get Emily."

 

After fighting over who showers first and who gets left with barely-warm water, everyone was out the door and in the car. Gavin was scowling and shivering; shooting daggers at Michael every now and then. There wasn’t an ounce of warmth left in the shower when Michael came waltzing out.

 

It was a quiet car journey, broken only by the noise of the engine and the occasional gurgle from Emily. Gavin yawned and rested his head against the back of the seat. He saw Michael look over at him and gin expectantly. Gavin threw him a surreptitious middle finger and looked out of the window for the rest of the journey.

 

Thursday meant nearly every lesson was with Michael except last period. They’d agreed to keep the time with Emily split between them the same as the previous day, not that it would make much difference if they had every lesson together.

 

Gavin spent break with Ray whilst Michael went off with his girlfriend, Lindsay. Gavin frowned when he saw them kissing in the hall on the way to third period. Conveniently, it was against his locker again.

 

Gavin sighed. “Move.”

 

Neither of them took any notice of him.

 

“Michael, move!”

 

Still nothing. Just like last time, he tried to pull Michael away by his shoulder and, just like last time, Michael jumped out of his skin as though Gavin had burned him.

 

There was no shouting match this time. Lindsay smiled apologetically at Gavin, kissed her boyfriend on the cheek and walked herself to class as Michael scowled at Gavin.

 

“What the fuck, Gavin?”

 

“Why do you always pick my locker to play tonsil tennis against? Are you trying to put on a show for me?”

 

Michael’s face seemed to have caught aflame, it was so red. His mouth opened and closed but no words sprang forward. Gavin didn’t see this, however, as he was digging through his locker, his back to Michael.

 

The late bell rang and Gavin looked up and frowned. “Now we’re late.”

 

Gavin turned around when there was no snarky comment, eyebrows raised. They lowered into a frown quickly, though; Michael was gone.

 

There was no interaction between the two of them for the rest of the school day. It wasn’t that bad; it was just like before Project Emily, really, except now there were surreptitious glances when the other wasn’t looking, flashes of shock and then deep frowns when they were caught.

 

Lunch was bad. Everyone asked them how their project was going and was it hard and when does it end and can you keep it. They were asked as a couple, as though asking two newlyweds about their new born. When they answered separately with distant voices, they received a few funny looks but it was mostly brushed off as ‘Michael and Gavin being Michael and Gavin as per usual’.

 

Ray seemed to notice something was up, though. He kept kicking Gavin under the table and shooting him questioning glances. Each and every time Gavin would shake his head and go back to the conversation he’d been holding. He got away with it, but he knew Ray wouldn’t drop it completely.

 

Michael left when he’d finished eating. He didn’t take Emily with him, instead leaving her with Gavin. Gavin called after him but he just walked off in search of Lindsay.

 

Gavin was starting to get whiplash from Michael’s hot-cold attitude.

 

The last hours of the day dragged, Gavin finding it hard to keep his eyes open. _Just twenty four more hours,_ he chanted in his head like a mantra. He was not losing fifty bucks.

 

As Gavin dragged his feet towards his locker, he saw Lindsay walking away from it. Michael was there as usual, waiting to go. There was a frown etched into his face which he failed to mask when he heard Gavin arrive.

 

“Problem?” Gavin asked, throwing his books in his locker.

 

“What?” Michael snapped, and then sighed. “No. Why would there be?”

 

Gavin shrugged noncommittally. He shoved Emily into Michael’s arms before leading the way to Geoff’s car. “You forgot something at lunch, by the way.”

 

“I thought you could handle it.”

 

“But Michael! We had a deal.”

 

“And I had things to do!”

 

Gavin sighed, not wanting to fight. It was probably just the lack of sleep making them so tetchy.

 

By the time they arrived home and had settled a bawling Emily down, the atmosphere was a little calmer.

 

“Fancy a game of Halo?”

 

Michael agreed by nodding and sat at one end of the couch, curling his feet underneath him and leaning onto the arm. He couldn’t be far away enough from Gavin if he tried.

 

They played for a few hours before Gavin decided to order pizza.

 

Emily decided to kick up just as the delivery boy arrived. All that could be heard from the house was a baby screaming and Michael yelling at Gavin to ‘hurry the fuck up before I snap her neck’. No amount of explaining would take the look of disgust from the bloke’s face.

 

They played a few different games into the small hours of the morning. Gavin tried to spark up conversation, and then tried to provoke Michael just to get _some_ kind of reaction, but Michael had been off all day. Not that Gavin really knew what he was like when he was on. He didn’t really know anything about Michael. That would all change after he won the bet.

 

At around three o clock, Gavin was upstairs with Emily, trying to settle her down. She was being stubborn and refused to drink, didn’t need changing and didn’t quieten when Gavin rocked her gently and hummed a few lullabies.

 

Half an hour had gone by already and still she persisted. Sighing heavily, he put her in her carrier and dug out her diary. Flipping though it he was unsurprised to find just how many times she’d cried in the past three days. As fond as he’d become of the doll (as loathe as he was to admit it), he’d be glad when the project was over and he was able to relax and make as much noise as he wanted.

 

Finally, an hour later, Emily was settled and calm, Gavin could relax.

 

“Sorry that took so long,” Gavin said as he descended the stairs. “It was _lovely_ of you to help.”

 

He rolled his eyes at the lack of a response. He frowned when he got downstairs and saw that the living room was empty.

 

Michael wasn’t in the kitchen, or the bathroom. He wasn’t in the back yard, either. Gavin was starting to panic, his mind jumping to dumb conclusions. _What if he_ _’s been taken?_

He checked the doors and windows but there was no sign of forced entry.

 

He walked into the lounge and slumped on the couch. Then he saw it; a small slip of paper on the coffee table embellished with his name in spidery scrawl.

 

 

_Gavin,_

_I can_ _’t do this. I thought I could but I can_ _’t. We can_ _’t be friends. This can_ _’t work. I_ _’m not going to say I_ _’m sorry. I did say._

_Michael_

_  
_

Gavin read it over three times and it still didn’t stick. It made absolutely no sense. Why would he just up and leave? And at four in the morning, to boot! He hadn’t done anything to push him away to his knowledge. Or had he? Gavin didn’t know. It would make more sense if Gavin had pushed him or forced his feelings on him… anything.

 

But Gavin hadn’t done anything. Michael had just upped and left with barely an explanation.

 

Gavin crumpled the note in his fist, confusion and anger prickling at his eyes. He refused to cry. He never cried. This was fucking stupid!

 

Why could they not be friends? The only one saying it wasn’t possible was Michael!

 

Gavin ended up falling asleep, the thought of becoming friends suddenly sour.

 

Michael had been wrong. It wasn’t Gavin that built things up, it was him.

 

Gavin would worry about the fifty bucks tomorrow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope this is okay. Had trouble with the ending. I also hope it follows on and isn't too out of the blue; that's the trouble with not reading through your own stuff and not having a plan...


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this isn't where I wanted to go with this but I'm not rewriting it. And I kind of like where it's at. Michael was going to be a smeghead for a while longer but it didn't turn out that way so... yeah. I hope this is all right and that you enjoy reading. And I'm also sorry it's a tad late.

Gavin sat up and stretched the kinks out of neck. His head was pounding and he wondered why he had slept on the couch, and then he remembered Michael had left, leaving a trail of excuses in his wake, and he collapsed back onto the couch with a sigh.

Everything was going so well. They were getting along well, or at least they were starting to. Gavin wondered what had happened to scare Michael off. Even after the argument in the street, he’d stayed.

Gavin didn’t understand it. Sitting up again, he spotted the crumpled note on the floor. He reread it and sighed again, messily. It didn’t clear anything up.

_I thought I could do it but I can_ _’t_ _…this can_ _’t work._

He ran a hand through his hair, shook himself vigorously, threw the paper back on the floor and pasted a large smile on his face. If he refused to let this get him down, he’d be fine. All he needed was a shower and some coffee and he’d be ready to face the day and find out what Michael had meant.

Three hours later and his resolve was slipping. He hadn’t seen Michael all day. He hadn’t been in classes, and none of their friends had seen him, either. He was toying with Emily’s blanket, half glad, half heartbroken that it was the final day of the project. He’d grown attached to the doll, and it had been the whole reason he and Michael had the chance to become friends. Not that that really mattered now.

“Hey, Gavin,” Ray said as he dropped into the seat next to his friend. “How goes it?”

“Yeah. Fine.” Gavin tried to be his usual chipper self but he was just _so confused_!

“Oh, wow. Who pissed in your Cheerios?”

Gavin snorted and shook his head. He handed Ray the note that had found its way into his pocket. He didn’t remember picking it up from the living room floor, but there it had been, in his pocket.

Ray frowned as he read it. “Huh. That sucks.”

Gavin could help but laugh; he loved how blunt Ray was. “Yeah. I just don’t get it. We were getting along better; we had Emily to look after together… I just don’t get it.”

Ray handed the paper back and patted Gavin’s shoulder. “His loss. Y’ know, there’s a party later tonight.”

Gavin nodded. It was being held by one of Geoff’s friends who was a few years older than them.

“Yeah, I know.”

“How about it? You can drink to forget and I can watch you make a fool of yourself.” Ray nudged Gavin’s shoulder with his own, waggling his eyebrows until Gavin laughed.

“I think I’ve already done that, Ray. But sure; any excuse to get bevved up,” Gavin said, perking up considerably.

But between then and now, he had numerous classes, the final of which being Health. With Michael.

The day dragged until finally, the bell rang indicating last period. Gavin didn’t know why he was getting his hopes up; Michael hadn’t been in classes all day. Why would this be any different?

He reached Mr Tompkins’ class in record speed. He took his seat and waited.

Students filed in slowly in groups of twos and threes. The late bell rang and still no red curls. A few late comers dashed into their seat, receiving scowls from their teacher. A few more minutes passed and still nothing.

He wouldn’t really miss this, would he? This was forty percent of their final grade; surely that was enough reason to attend, if nothing else. He had been adamant, after all, that he didn’t want to fail the class.

“So, class, today is the day. Let’s see how you all did with your projects.” He called the first pair up to his desk for evaluation. Still no Michael.

He wasn’t coming. Gavin rolled his eyes, pissed off all of a sudden. He had been hurt by Michael’s running away, but now he was just annoyed. He was annoyed that he’d given up and he was annoyed that he’d made a ton of lame excuses on a piece of paper instead of explaining to Gavin. They weren’t seven! He was annoyed that Michael wasn’t at school and had left Gavin to deal with the project on his own. Would he be failed if Michael didn’t turn up? It was a partnered project, after all.

He was startled from his thoughts as someone dropped into the seat next to him and slammed their bag on the table.

“Ah, Mr Jones; how nice of you to join us.”

Michael just nodded and slumped back, ignoring everyone.

“I thought you weren’t coming.”

“I’m here aren’t I?” he snapped, crossing his arms across his chest.

“Why?”

“Because this is worth-”

“I don’t mean why are you in class, Michael,” Gavin said, his voice hushed.

Michael just stared, face stony. “I have no idea what you’re talking about, then.” His eyes belied him, twitching around Gavin’s face.

“Not here.” Gavin said as he and Michael were called up.

They had passed with solid B grades. They had a few minor counts against them but nothing too major; Mr Tompkins hadn’t masked his surprise very well.

“Well done, boys. You worked together much better than I thought possible.”

Gavin smiled politely; Michael just walked back to his desk without so much as a by your leave.

They didn’t get time to speak after class; Michael was packed and out the door faster than Gavin could even get out of his seat.

He trailed his feet all the way to his locker and out to Geoff’s car.

“Did you get to speak with Michael?” Griffon asked kindly and they approached the vehicle.

Gavin shook his head, frowning.

Geoff and Griffon shared a _look_ that Gavin pretended not to notice.

“Well, Gav, you can forget all about it tonight.”

Oh, the party. Right. Gavin had forgotten. “Yeah, sure.” He didn’t really want to go but he’d already told Ray that he would. He wasn’t in the mood to party.

*

It was strange without Emily and Michael in the house. Gavin had gotten so used to it, so used to the mock domesticity of it all…

“Gav, you’re moping again,” Geoff smirked from the doorway.

Gavin shook himself and glared at Geoff. “Shut up, Geoff. I’m not moping.”

“Oh? What were you doing?”

“Plotting your demise.”

Geoff snorted and nodded slowly. “Yeah, good luck with that, buddy. You ready?”

Twenty minutes later and they were pulling up to a house Gavin had never been to before. It was large, even for the nice part of town. Music was blaring from inside; the party seemed to be in full swing already, even though it was only seven.

As they approached the door, Gavin was thinking of his first drink.

Finally, after hammering on the door for five minutes, someone answered.

“Geoff! Griffon! Glad you could make it! Oh, hey Gavin. I wasn’t sure if you were gonna come. It’s good to see you.”

Gavin smiled, “It’s good to see you too, Ryan. Where are the bevs?”

Ryan laughed as he stood aside to let them in. Gavin headed off down a corridor in search of booze.

“He’s had a bad day,” he heard Geoff mutter in explanation as he walked away.

Finally he managed to find the kitchen, a large, beautiful room with a large island in the middle which held all the booze Gavin could want for. He grabbed a bottle of beer from a cooler and headed out into the back yard where it was a little quieter.

“Gavino! You made it.”

Gavin laughed as Ray approached, bottle of water in hand. “I made it,” he said, clinking his bottle with Ray’s and taking a long pull of the alcohol.

“Did you manage to talk to Michael?” Gavin frowned at him, unable to recall saying he was even going to try. Ray just shrugged. “I know what you’re like, Gav.”

Gavin huffed around the neck of his bottle. “I did, actually. I received the cold shoulder so hard, I still have the frostbite.”

Ray snorted and shook his head. “Forget about him, then,” Ray said as if it were that simple. Gavin knew Ray knew it _wasn_ _’t_ that simple, but he played along.

“Oh, yeah, I’ll just find the ‘off’ switch for feelings.” Gavin didn’t remember being this bitter about anything, really. He was always the one to brush shit like this off. In the grand scheme of things, what did it really matter that Michael was a tool?

But, for some bizarre reason, it did matter.

Ray slapped a hand on his friends shoulder, all serious, and said in a sombre voice, “Well, I gotta piss.”

Gavin had to laugh at Ray’s goofy grin as he walked off.

An hour and a half later and Gavin was sat in an empty kitchen surrounded by empty plastic cups and beer bottles. He was nursing a glass of amber liquid but he was no longer sure what he was actually drinking.

He was too busy searching for the answers to his problems in the bottom of his glass to notice someone had walked into the room until a hand landed gently on his shoulder. He nearly jumped out of his skin.

“Sorry,” a deep voice chuckled behind him. He turned around and saw two Ryans stood behind him, grinning.

“Hey,” he slurred, grinning back. “How things go thing?”

Ryan raised a brow, a smirk forming on his lips.

“Yeah, Gav, that’s English. Things are alright, thanks. How are you liking the party?” Instead of shouting over the music, Ryan leaned closer. He smelled of booze and sweat from dancing and drinking, but he didn't smell bad.

Gavin nodded and grinned, leaning to slur, "yeah, it's great" into the man's ear.

They were mere inches apart and Gavin was hammered and Ryan was being so nice...

Before he knew what he was doing, he'd flung himself at Ryan. Before anything really happened, Ryan caught him, holding him firmly by his arms, pushing him away. He was frowning. A small voice in Gavin's head was disappointed that Ray wasn't here to watch him really make a fool of himself.

"Gavin, I-" Ryan said, sounding almost regretful that he'd even approached the Brit. 

"Gavin?" said a voice from the door. A voice Gavin was not expecting. He shrugged Ryan off and turned in his seat, miraculously not falling from it. It was Michael. Of course it was.

There was pain in his confused frown, and conflict on his face. As drunk as he was, even Gavin could see that Michael wished his heart wasn’t on his sleeve at that moment; that his voice hadn’t cracked.

“Michael, I’m sorry.” _Why am I apologising? I have nothing to be sorry for! He should be sorry._

“I just… wanted to talk.” Michael seemed to realise where he was and what had almost happened and the shutters slammed into place. “But you look busy so I’m going to go.”

“No, wait, Michael!” Gavin stumbled off his stool and ran after Michael, desperately trying to fight the jelly feeling in his legs and the whirling of his stomach. Everything was blurry and there were so many people in his way!

He finally caught up to Michael halfway down the front path. He grabbed his arm, half to make him turn around and half to steady himself from tripping over his own feet.

“Michael, I didn’t know you were going to be here.” It sounded like an excuse, like Gavin was guilty of something.

“Yeah, apparently not.”

“Michael,” Gavin sighed, his stomach heaving. He really didn’t want to vomit all over Michael’s shoes. “Why do you care?”

Michael’s frown deepened and made to pull away, huffing. Gavin held firm, though, and Michael had no choice but to turn around.

“I don’t care. You can make out with whomever you want. It’s no damn business of mine. I just wanted to apologise about… well, y’ know.”

“About giving me the hot-and-cold all week and then running out on me? What was all that about?”

Michael sighed so heavily it was almost a growl and stared at his feet. “I…”

Gavin swayed on his feet, waiting for an answer. When it was apparent one wasn’t going to appear, he spoke up.

“You don’t have to explain yourself to me, little Michael,” he said with a small smile. “I’m just confused.”

Michael snorted in agreement. “So am I. I just… fucking hell, I don’t know. I don’t… I’ve never… I’m not good at this whole opening up to someone and trusting them.”

“Well, you have other friends. You trust them, right?”

“Well, yeah, but that just happened. We just hung out until it became habit – we’ve always gotten along; you and I, though… not so much. I’ve never had someone be so fucking adamant about wanting to be my friend. We’ve never really seen eye to eye, Gav.”

Gavin giggled at the use of the nickname until he realised Michael had never called him anything but his full name before. Was this a step in the right direction?

“I just want to know you.”

Michael frowned. “Yeah. I know. Maybe I was wrong, all right?”

“Wow, Michael Jones apologising and admitting he was wrong, all in one night? I must be drunker than I thought.”

“Shut the fuck up. All I’m trying to say is…” He didn’t look like he knew what he was trying to say at all, but he went on anyway. “Maybe we can just not ignore each other and go from there. Maybe we don’t need to label it as ‘friends’ right away. I mean… y’ know… I liked doing that stupid project with you. Or, I liked sitting on the couch whilst you did everything,” he grinned.

Gavin pretended to think it over, and then nodded. “I would like that, little Michael. Let’s go from there.”

Michael nodded and smiled a real smile and Gavin was sad he wouldn’t remember it in the morning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed. Reviews are always loved. If there's anything amiss or whatever, give me a shout and I'll try and fix it.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M SO SORRY ABOUT HOW LATE THIS IS. If you're here through my tumblr you may have seen the trillion apologies I've left. If not, I really am sorry. But the main thing is, it's ready now! 
> 
> I don't really know what happened in this chapter. I just typed and this happened. If it's shoddy, I apologise. I hope you enjoy it anyway!

Monday morning dawned bright and crisp. Gavin was up before anyone else, which never happened, and surprised even himself. He decided, to make up for kicking Geoff and Griffon out of their home for the past week, to make breakfast.

Twenty minutes later and breakfast was done, if ‘done’ meant black bacon, three destroyed saucepans and a smoke alarm that wouldn’t turn off.

“I’m sorry!” Gavin shouted over the noise, coughing in the smoke-filled kitchen. Griffon was laughing as Geoff tried ripping the alarm off the ceiling. “I just wanted to do something nice to make up for being a knob.”

Griffon patted him on the shoulder as Geoff glared, finally able to shut the sound off.

“If ‘something nice’ involved waking us up at butt-fuck o clock for no reason, then I’m not impressed, Gav.”

Gavin mumbled his apologies again and sloped off upstairs to get dressed.

It had been three days since they had given Emily in and Gavin still wasn’t used to sleeping the whole night through without being awoken by mechanical screaming. Maybe that’s why he was up so early.

When he returned back downstairs, the smoke had been chased out the back door and there was fresh bacon and eggs cooking on the stove.

“He makes me feel like his fucking father sometimes,” Geoff was saying to Griffon who chuckled lightly.

“He was only trying to help.”

“I know that. I appreciate it, but I wish he wouldn’t. I love the guy, I really do, but he’s a walking catastrophe.”

Gavin grinned, glad Geoff didn’t hate him for nearly burning down his house. “I really am sorry, Geoffrey,” he said as he skipped into the kitchen and pinched a slice of toast from Griffon’s plate.

Geoff just rolled his eyes as he served the food, “Shut up and eat.”

There was a good atmosphere for the rest of the journey to school. The conversation mainly consisted of dumb things Gavin had said at and after the party. He didn’t remember any of them but they seemed to provide endless amounts of hilarity to Geoff.

Pulling up into the parking lot, they saw most of their usual friends in a crowd on the front steps.

“Are we really this early?” Gavin asked as he climbed out of the car.

“Well, we didn’t have to spend an hour trying to wake your lazy ass up so we’re actually on time.”

Gavin just grinned as they approached their friends.

“Hi guys!”

“Wow, Gavin, I didn’t even know you knew this hour existed,” Barbara grinned.

“Yeah, well, we got into a bit of a pickle this morning so we were up early.”

“Oh, no; No, _we_ didn’t get into anything. _You’re_ the one who nearly burned the house down,” Geoff deadpanned, greeting his friends. Everyone laughed as Gavin grinned sheepishly.

He looked around for Michael but didn’t see him. It didn’t matter, he’d see him later in class.

Ray nudged him and raised his brows in question. Gavin just shrugged and turned back to his friends, joining in their conversations when prompted, slotting in his usual strange words and phrases and making everyone laugh when he could.

He’d told Ray what had happened at the party on Saturday. Or what he remembered of it, at least.

Ray was the only one who knew everything. How Gavin felt, what had happened… it was nice, someone knowing, not having to bottle it all up. He’d never had someone that he could trust that much. Of course, he trusted all of his friends, but it was different with Ray, perhaps because they were the closest, Gavin didn’t know. Gavin thought he’d like to get to know Michael that well, too.

*

“Good morning, Michael!” Gavin sang as he walked into their class.

“Morning, Gavin.”

“So, I’ve been thinking,” Gavin said as he sat down next to Michael so they could talk ignoring the fact that it wasn’t his usual seat.

“Wow, that’s a first, right?”

“Michael! No! No, I was just going to say that we should go out. I mean, not, like, together. I mean all of us. Everyone. The whole group of us. You can bring Lindsay too, if you like.”

Michael regarded Gavin with raised eyebrows. “Ooo-kay. What did you have in mind?”

“Um, well, I don’t know. I didn’t think that far ahead. I thought I’d have to convince you more,” he grinned sheepishly.

Michael bit back a smile. “Right. Perhaps we should discuss it with the others?”

“Yeah! Great! And you can ask Lindsay.”

“Yeah, I’ll ask her.” Michael rolled his eyes as Gavin turned to the front of the class.

When lunch rolled around, Gavin was practically bouncing with excitement. He hadn’t expected Michael to agree so easily. He’d expected Michael to say no, that that was going too far, too fast. Gavin couldn’t be happier that he’d agreed so readily, though. And he was glad that Lindsay may be coming, too; that was a genius move on his behalf, he thought. Maybe if they could all get along, if Gavin learned to love Lindsay, he could forget about Michael. Maybe they could all just be friends. And maybe he wouldn’t be greeted by the pair of them making out on his locker every day.

“All my friends are here!” Gavin announced giddily when everyone had sat down. “I have a proposal.”

Geoff slapped his hand on Gavin’s shoulder. “What’s up, buddy?”

“Nothing. I just thought that we should all do something. All of us together. Go for a movie or something.”

“Oh, a movie sounds good!” Barbara perked up. “Isn’t there that new slasher out?”

Geoff nodded. “I wouldn’t mind giving it a watch.”

Everyone agreed to the slasher with big grins. Gavin bounced in his seat; everything was working out so well.

“So, uh, I guess I’d better ask you guys first. Gavin said I could invite Lindsay. Is that alright with you guys?”

Gavin didn’t miss the sharp glance both Ray and Geoff sent him. He didn’t know what Geoff’s meant but he ignored them both.

“Don’t be stupid, Michael,” Griffon said with her kind smile. “You don’t have to ask. Of course she can come. The more the merrier.” Everyone agreed, willing to welcome Lindsay into the group with open arms.

Michael glanced at Gavin, then, too. He smiled slightly and nodded a silent ‘thank you’. Gavin just grinned.

*

It had been decided that they’d go out on Wednesday evening. The tickets had been booked and everyone was excited; they’d not gone out as a big group for a long time.

Lindsay had been over the moon that she’d been invited out with Michael’s friends. She’d spent most of the lunch hour with them on Tuesday. They’d learned that, despite going out with the ball of rage that is Michael, she was as sweet as they came. Michael had said she ‘inspired the good in him’ which nearly made Barbara cry.

She was also a very big cat person. So much so that it was funny. Despite being an innocent looking girl, she knew how to take a joke. But then Gavin guessed you’d have to be able to if you were dating Michael.

_Bad train of thought, Gavin; change the tracks._

Lindsay was a good person. Gavin hoped she could indirectly help him let go.

Wednesday dragged. It didn’t help that Wednesday was Gavin’s worst day academically-wise. All his lessons sucked, and the fact that he was so excited about that evening make the day sick even more.

Finally, _finally,_ the end of day bell chimed. Gavin almost sprinted to his locker. The movie wasn’t until seven so he didn’t know why he had to rush, but he did so anyway. He found Michael at his locker, leaning with his back against the metal. He was talking with Lindsay, but when they saw Gavin arrive, he kissed her goodbye and she walked away with a small wave.

“See you tonight, Michael, Gavin.”

Gavin nodded, smiling.

“Hey, Gavin. Hurry up and let’s go.”

Gavin frowned. “We’re going somewhere?”

“Sure we are. Your place.”

“Uh, w-we are?” _Very bad thoughts, Gavin!_

“Sure. Geoff said it would be easier if we went together. My house is in the opposite direction, so it makes sense. We’re picking Lindsay up on the way. That’s cool with you, right?”

Gavin nodded, a bit dazed; so much for ‘going from there’. This seemed a lot like what friends did. And Michael seemed perfectly comfortable with it, so Gavin wasn’t going to complain. “Ah, sure!”

“Besides, I’m gonna kick your ass in Halo again.”

Gavin just shoved him into the lockers before walking out to Geoff’s car.

*

“Guys, it’s time to go! We still need to get Lindsay, and now Ray needs picking up, too. Fuck knows how you’re all gonna fit in the back but if we don’t leave now, we’re gonna be late!”

“Just, a minute, Geoff! I’ve nearly won!” Gavin squealed as he jumped around the map, shooting bullets and throwing grenades, hoping one of them hits their target.

“Now, Gavin!”

“Yeah, just- GEOFF! GEOFF, NO! HOW COULD YOU? NO, TURN IT BACK ON! _GEOFF!_ ”

Geoff held the cable in his hand with a smug grin on his face. “Car. Now. And you, Michael.”

“He would have killed me if I’d done that to him,” Gavin mumbled to Michael as they walked out the front door. “He would have literally throttled me and then probably cut me up and shredded me into tiny pieces and fed me to the birds.”

“I don’t think birds eat humans, Gav,” Michael snorted.

That then launched them into a conversation about the conditions it would take for birds to eat humans, and what they would end up turning into if they did.

Lindsay and Ray got involved, too, when they were picked up. Squeezed into the car, they laughed and debated, even getting Griffon and Geoff involved at some points, despite their protests.

By the time they’d arrived at the movie theatre, it had been decided that birds would eat humans without any conditions; birds are evil demons that only eat seeds to blend in. In the dead of night they go hunting for fresh bodies to munch on.

“Well,” said Lindsay, “if this film doesn’t give me nightmares, that certainly will.” Everyone laughed.

“What are you guys laughing about?”

“The birds are gonna eat your flesh, Jack! The birds!”

“Uh-huh. What the fuck?” Jack turned to Geoff who just shrugged.

“Movie time!” Gavin cried, bouncing on the balls of his feet.

“Gavin, chill the fuck out!” Michael shouted at him.

When they were all settled with popcorn and chips and candy and drinks, sat at the back of the theatre spread across two rows, everyone seemed to be talking excitedly. It really had been a long time since they’d all gone out together.

Gavin was sat at the end of a row against a wall, Michael sat on his other side. Now that he was here, in this dark room, he was scared. All that flashed through his mind was what he’d seen in a hundred movies.

Their hands would touch and their pinkie fingers would entwine and they’d pull away like they’d been stung. But they’d always drift back. They’d end up holding hands under the arm rest, away from the eyes of their friends, guilty exhilaration coursing through their veins.

But none of that happened. The worst thing that happened between them was an elbow battle for the arm rest, causing a crotchety old woman in front of them to turn around and shush them, making them laugh. Gavin was pleased. He’d looked over a few times to see Lindsay hiding in Michael’s shoulder whilst Michael shook with silent laughter. They’re eyes met a few times but Gavin just grinned and mouthed if Lindsay was okay.

Michael would nod and roll his eyes, barely noticeable in the darkness, before turning back to the slaughter on the screen.

“Well,” Geoff said as they exited the theatre, “I had a good sleep.”

Everyone laughed and agreed that it was a pretty shit movie. A couple of people looked a little shaken up (Gavin included), though. But no matter their opinion on the film, everyone agreed that it was nice to spend time as a big group.

“Surprisingly, that was a good idea, Gavino,” Geoff grinned, ruffling the Brit’s hair.

Ray held Gavin back a bit as everyone walked back to their cars.

“It was nice of you to invite Lindsay.” His brows were raised and his expression clearly said ‘I’m not fucking buying it’.

“Well she’s Michael’s girlfriend. I thought it’d be nice for him.”

“Right.”

“What? Spit it out, Ray.”

“Nothing. It’s just… I know how you feel. _He_ knows how you feel. And-”

“And he doesn’t feel the same. Lindsay’s a nice girl.”

“And you’re a nice guy, Gav.”

“It’s never going to happen though, is it?”

“So you think if you get to know Lindsay and see for yourself how happy he makes her, you’ll be able to convince yourself what _you_ feel doesn’t matter, right?”

“No! Well… yeah, okay. He just wants to be friends, and that’s far better than nothing.”

Ray just hmph’d as they climbed into the car.

They could be friends. They could. Gavin could let go of the excessive feelings. It wasn’t as though he _loved_ Michael. It was just a silly crush that needed squashing. Michael had made it perfectly clear how _he_ felt. And now that they really were starting to become friends, Gavin didn’t want to fuck that up yet again.

They _could_ be friends. They could be.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! As always, feedback is greatly appreciated.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I enjoyed writing every part of this chapter. This is one of the only chapter I didn't get stuck on. I hope you like reading it as much as I liked writing it.

Their lips met softly, and Gavin felt all the tension drain from his body. He ran his hands up Michael’s back, up the back of his neck, and into his hair; Michael’s arms wrapped around his waist as he nipped at Gavin’s bottom lip.

Gavin tightened his grip on the russet curls as the kiss deepened. Michael walked them backwards until his back hit the wall. He ran his tongue along Gavin’s bottom lip, causing the Brit to whimper. Their tongues met as softly as their lips had, and Gavin felt like he was floating. He knotted his hands into Michael’s hair to anchor himself.

Michael moaned into Gavin’s mouth and then there were hands clutching his ass and pulling him forward, closer to Michael. He used his grip on Gavin’s ass to grind them together.

Gavin’s head flew backwards, his breath hitched; “Ah, Michael, what are you doing?”

Michael grinned. “I’m making you feel good. I’ve hurt you so much recently, Gavin.”

Michael pushed Gavin backwards until they were sprawled on the floor. Gavin didn’t know how they got to the floor so smoothly, without falling, but there they were.

Gavin ran his hands up and down Michael’s bare back (when had their shirts come off?) and sighed happily. Michael nipped at his neck and Gavin clung with his nails, dragging them down, leaving red marks from the back of his neck to the middle of his back.

Michael groaned and writhed, grabbing Gavin’s hands and pinning them above his head with one of his own. Gavin didn’t know what was happening, didn’t know Michael knew how to do stuff like this, because he certainly didn’t, but he wasn’t about to complain.

Michael’s free hand stroked down Gavin’s chest, over his stomach, to the waistband of his jeans. Michael grinned, eyes bright. He toyed with the button, but didn’t pop it. Gavin felt his hips roll, felt himself becoming impatient. “Michael… Michael…”

“Gavin,” Michael whispered back, still toying with his pants, still holding his hands above his head. “ _Gavin_ …”

“Gavin!”

*

“Fucking hell, Gavin, wake up!”

Gavin opened his eyes slowly, wincing as watery sunlight hit his eyes.

Sunlight meant it was morning. Morning meant school. The fact that Geoff was actually in his room screaming at him rather than shouting from the stairs meant he was super late. He sat up quickly, and then realised his… _predicament_.

“I’m up!”

Geoff just gave him a disgusted look and walked out. “If you’re not in the car in ten minutes, we’re leaving without you.” The door slammed behind him.

Gavin fell back against his pillows and covered his face with his hands. He didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. It hadn’t been the first time he’d dreamt something like that, but it was the first time it was so detailed. It had felt so real, his heart hurt.

“I am so screwed,” he muttered to himself before dragging himself into a very cold shower.

Half an hour later and he was running down the corridors, already five minute late for homeroom.

He finally reached the class and collapsed into a seat beside Ray.

“You’re cutting it close today, aren’t you?” Ray laughed.

“Yeah, I, uh… I overslept.” He felt his face burn bright and kept his eyes trained on the desk.

He could feel Ray’s eyes burning into his shoulder. “You overslept? Nice dream, was it?”

Gavin cringed and looked away.

The penny seemed to drop then. “Oh. _Oh! Ew, Gavin!”_

“Shut up!” Gavin hissed, glaring at his friend. “You asked.”

Ray just laughed with a disgusted look on his face. “You’re a fucking disgrace.”

Gavin chuckled, too, though he didn’t feel the humour behind it. He really was a disgrace. It was pathetic, really.

“I think I’m gonna skip,” Gavin sighed, mostly to himself. Ray looked at him with a sardonic kind of pity in his eyes.

“You can’t just run away. You’ve got to face this someday.”

Gavin frowned. “I’ve been _facing this_ for a long time now, Ray. Besides, who says I’m ‘running away’ from _him_? I just don’t want to be _here._ ”

Ray held up his hands in defence. “All right, fuck. Go, then, if you want to go. I’ll cover for you.”

Gavin grinned, suddenly forgiving. “Thank, X-Ray! You’re the best. I’ll make it up to you.”

“Yeah, you better. Get out of here, man.”

Gavin jumped up from his desk and practically flew from the room. A whole day now stretched ahead of him and his mood increased drastically.

It plummeted again when he reached his locker, though. He was thinking of shoving all his shit in there until he’d have to come back to school to pick it up. He couldn’t let Geoff know he’d skipped or he’d have hell to pay.

He couldn’t currently access his locker, though, because there was a body leaning casually against it, as if expecting him.

He sighed. He knew that body. And not really in a good way.

“What are you doing here?”

“Thought you might like some company.”

“Ray texted you, didn’t he?”

“Nah, I’m just psychic. I could feel your pain, Gavin!” he declared, clutching his chest. When Gavin just raised his brows, Michael dropped the act and grinned sheepishly. “Yeah, okay, he may have let me know you were skipping.”

“You don’t have to be here.”

“He didn’t tell me to join you. I’m here of my own free will.”

Gavin sighed. He was finding it hard enough to even look at the other boy at that moment; he didn’t know if he could spend an entire day with him.

“Why?”

“Because I’m trying, Gavin.”

Gavin did look at him then, and he could see the shock reflected back at him through Michael’s eyes. He obviously hadn’t meant to say that aloud. Gavin smiled nonetheless.

“Thank you,” he said quietly as he fought his bag into his locker.

“Yeah, whatever,” Michael shrugged, but a smile played on his lips. “I was thinking of spending the day in the park or something. I just need some peace and quiet.

Michael looked serious then. “I can go if you want.”

Gavin thought it over for a second. “No, I don’t want.” Now Michael was here, Gavin didn’t want him to leave, even if it was uncomfortable.

Michael grinned. “To the park, then.”

They spent numerous hours in the park just talking and walking around, soaking up the weak sunlight. They found a patch of grass encircled by trees in which they decided to relax on. As Gavin lay on his back, the cloudless sky above him, Michael at his side, talking about random things just to fill the silence, Gavin realised he was happy. He was happy with things exactly the way they were.

_Perhaps this will be easier than I first thought…_

It was about two o’ clock when Gavin’s stomach joined the party.

“Jesus, was than an earthquake?” Michael smirked, standing up.

“Shut up. Where are you going?”

Michael raised an eyebrow. “Do you not want lunch?”

“Yeah, but I left my money in my bag.”

“Well, it’s a good thing I didn’t. Come on, fuckface. Pizza good for you?”

“Uh, pizza’s top, but-”

Michael rolled his eyes as he pulled Gavin from the grass. “Look, if it bothers you that much, you can pay me back later.”

Feeling a little better, he grinned and accepted the help up. Neither of them dwelled on the few seconds where neither of them let go.

*

“So,” Gavin perked up, his mouth full of pizza, “what is your favourite colour?”

Michael blinked and swallowed his mouthful (because fucking hell, he’s not an animal, thank you very much) before speaking. “What?”

They were in a small Pizza Hut a mile or so away from the school. It being half one on a school day, it wasn’t very busy, for which they were both thankful. They were sat at a small two-person table in the far corner. It was… cosy. The problem was that Michael had _chosen_ to sit here.

“Your favourite colour; It’s the most important thing one can know about someone.”

“How so?”

“Well, if I wanted to get you a gift, at the moment, I don’t really know anything about you. Sure, I know you like video games, but what video games? Sure, Halo and Minecraft, but that doesn’t help.”

“I like any and all video games, Gav.”

“Shut up, that’s not the point. If I knew your favourite colour, it opens up a world of possibilities. I could buy you anything of that colour, and you’re likely to enjoy it more because I’ve put some thought into it because I’ve chosen something that I know you’ll like.”

“That’s bullshit,” Michael laughed. “But my favourite colour is orange, if you really wanted to know.”

“Top. Mine’s green.”

“Great. Now we know everything about each other!”

“Shut up, Michael.”

“’Shut up, Mi-cool!’” Michael imitated in a high pitched voice.

“Michael!” Gavin squealed, laughing.

“Gavin!” Michael imitated again, grinning.

Gavin kicked him under the table. Michael kicked back harder. It turned into a game of footsies which got them thrown out of the restaurant. Laughing, they decided to take a slow walk back to the school.

“So, why are you here?”

“Uh, because I didn’t want to be in school, you silly sausage.”

Michael snorted at the pet name but didn’t comment. “No, dickwad, why are you in Austin? Why aren’t you in England?”

“Oh. Well I’d became friends with Geoff and Griffon and my parents ended up meeting them somehow, and then it was being discussed that I was going to go and live with them here in Austin.”

“So you didn’t want to come?”

“Of course I did. Do you really thing I’d be here if I didn’t?”

Michael chuckled. “Guess not.”

“Yeah. So I moved over here and was enrolled into the school. Skip forward six odd months and here we are.”

“That’s not the story I was expecting.”

Gavin quirked an eyebrow. “What were you expecting?”

“I dunno. That perhaps you were on the run and you had to come half way around the world to escape from terrorists or something and… uh… something fucking dramatic like that. I don’t fucking know!”

Gavin giggled. “No terrorists, I’m afraid, my little Michael.”

Michael smirked. “Right.”

“So are you from here?”

“Nah. I’m from New Jersey originally. Me and my mom moved here a few years ago.”

“Just you and your mum? Wait, I’m sorry. You don’t need to answer that.”

“Nah, it’s cool. Yeah, just us. My dad left us high and dry. He was always a prick-ass prick anyway, so I’m not too bothered.” Michael laughed, but it was bitter, like he had to choke it out.

“That sucks.”

“Yeah.”

They were silent for a while, and then Gavin’s phone buzzed in his pocket.

It was a text from Geoff.

_I know you skipped. Get back here now._

“Huh. It seems we’ve been caught out,” Gavin sighed, showing his phone to Michael, who laughed.

“We better get you back, then.”

When they reached the school, the parking lot was almost empty. Perhaps they’d been a little too slow with their walk.

Geoff was stood against his car. He looked calm enough, until he looked up.

“Where the fuck have you been?”

“Uh… out.”

“Don’t fucking smart mouth me, Gavin.”

“All right, I’m sorry! I just… I needed a break. From all of this. I just. I needed to breathe.”

“You can breathe when you’re not meant to be learning. I learned shit here. I never listen. I don’t give a shit. I want better for you, Gav.” Gavin knew he was trying to be nice, but the way his voice was rising suggested anything but.

“I said I was sorry! It was just one name. I’ll… I’ll try harder, all right? Jesus.”

Geoff seemed placated for the time begin. “Get in the car. Your bag’s in the back.”

He turned to say bye to Michael but Geoff just said, “both of you” and then the conversation was well and truly over.

Sometimes Gavin forgot Geoff was only two years older than he was, and not really his father.

Gavin shared a confused glance with Michael before they both climbed into the car.

*

“Michael, I need to talk to you.”

Michael looked up from the TV screen where he and Gavin were mining for gold.

“Sure, what’s up, Geoff?”

“Alone, if you don’t mind.”

Michael looked over at Gavin, who looked back and shrugged. “Go on then, little Michael.”

Michael frowned at Geoff before standing and following him to the kitchen.

“Have I done something? Look, I’m sorry about making Gav skip.”

“You didn’t make him do anything. And not directly, no; that’s the problem. You need to sort your shit out, buddy.”

Michael’s frown deepened. “What’s that supposed to mean?” he said defensively. To his knowledge, he hadn’t done anything.

“It means,” Geoff said slowly, as though trying to keep a hold of his frustration, “that you need to figure out what you’re doing. I know you know how Gav feels about you.”

Michael’s eyes narrowed. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Don’t bullshit me, Michael. Even if he hasn’t said anything, there’s no way you haven’t noticed. I see the way he looks at you, and you’re always looking back. And then you two go on a little playdate.”

“So, what? You think I’m cheating on Lindsay with _him_? You think I’d do that to her? You think I’d do that to _him_?”

“No, that’s not what I think. I know you wouldn’t do that. But I’ve know you for a long time, Michael. In all the years I’ve known you, not once have you fought for someone so much. I saw you, at the party, you know.”

Michael’s heart nearly jumped out of his mouth. _Which party?! He saw the kiss? How did he see that? We weren’t still kissing when the door opened were we?_

He was about to say something but Geoff continued. “I saw you apologising to him. I know you’re not an asshole really, but I’ve never seen you apologise to someone unless you’ve done something severely wrong.”

“I had hurt him. I’m not a prick. I’d just upped and left.”

Geoff stared. “You’ve upped and left before. I’ve seen you leave many a relationship, be it platonic or otherwise. You don’t care if you hurt people. Not enough to go out of your way and offer to be friends. I’ve never seen you try so hard.”

“He was gonna drink himself into the hospital!”

“He does that nearly every weekend. You’ve never cared before.”

“He… he was gonna make a fool of himself.”

Geoff grinned, though there was no humour there. “He does that every fucking day.

“Look, I’m not telling you to stay away from him. I’m not his father. In fact, it’s great you two are getting along. Just stop stringing him along.”

“I’m not!”

Geoff just stared at him. Michael’s heart was racing. Geoff knew something. Geoff always knew something. “Michael, you’re a good guy. I know that. But you either need to get your act together and tell him how you feel, or you need to _tell him how you feel._ ”

Michael frowned again. What the fuck was that supposed to mean? Wasn’t an ultimatum supposed to have two options, not just one with a bit of emphasis on it the second time?

Geoff was about to walk back into the living room but he stopped at Michael’s shoulder and dropped his head to the boy’s ear. “I know you kissed him,” he whispered, and then walked away, leaving Michael stunned.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed!


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay for filler chapters!

“So, are we going out this weekend?” Gavin asked the next day at lunch.

“I was thinking that we could all just crash at ours,” Geoff announced around a mouthful of fries. “Make a night of it, y’ know. Few movies, a few drinks.”

“That suits me,” Barbara chimed. “Payday is too far away for me to be able to afford anything.”

Everyone seemed happy enough with it. Gavin nudged Michael. “Another sleepover, Michael!”

Michael swallowed hard, glancing at Geoff, who was staring at him. “Uh, yeah, Gav.”

Gavin grinned, suddenly excited. He’d missed the exchange between his friends, oblivious as ever.

“When are we doing this, then?”

“Why not just do it tonight? It’s Friday. Everyone’s free, right?” Geoff said, looking around at his friends.

When everyone nodded, he clapped his hands, grinning. “Then it’s settled then. Tonight it is.”

“Hey, Michael, you can bring Lindsay, too!” Gavin smiled. He really did like Lindsay; she was a nice girl.

Michael just nodded. He seemed far off and distant. Gavin nudged him again. “Are you alright, Michael?” he said in an undertone.

Michael nodded before realising he had actually been spoken to directly. “Yeah! No, yeah, I’m cool. Just a little tired.”

Gavin frowned. He’d seen the other boy completely drained before, and he’d never been this quiet, but he didn’t push it. It wasn’t his place.

“All right. So, what are we watching?” He said to rest of the group, grinning.

“The Ring!”

“No way. Wanted!”

“Perhaps. It does have Angelina Jolie in it. But I’m up for the Ring.”

“The Notebook!”

“No, Barb. You’re not Notebooking us again.”

“Why doesn’t everyone just bring a collection of films and we see tonight? What about bevs?” Gavin suggested.

“BYOB all right with everyone?” Geoff asked and everyone agreed.

“Excellent! This is gonna be tippers!” Gavin grinned as the bell rang for the end of lunch.

*

Michael was standing at Gavin’s locker, looking particularly uncomfortable with Geoff next to him. They seemed to be having a whispered argument, but immediately shut up when Gavin arrived.

“Hey, guys. Geoff, what are you doing here?”

“Huh? Oh, nothing. I was heading to the car when I saw Michael. I’ll see you in a minute.” Then he walked off. Michael was staring at the floor.

“Hello, my little Michael.” Michael just grunted. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah.”

“Are you sure? You’ve been off all day. Has something happened?”

“I said I was fine.”

“Yeah but-”

“I’m fine, all right? Just fucking drop it!”

Gavin took a step back, stepping out of the range of his friend’s fists. “I’m sorry.”

At Gavin’s apology, Michael seemed to deflate against the lockers. “No, I am. I just… it’s nothing, all right?”

“Okay. Um… are you excited about tonight?”

Michael couldn’t help but smile at how easy Gavin found it to become so easily excited and springy after a serious moment.

“Yeah, it’s gonna be good.”

“Did Lindsay say she was coming?”

“Nah, she can’t tonight. She, uh, she’s gotta work. She said she’s sorry though.”

“Oh, that sucks.” Gavin threw the rest of his stuff into his bag and slammed his locker closed. “Okay, let’s go.” He was disappointed that Lindsay wasn’t coming, he really was, but there was that small part of him, a part of him that he was trying to squash out, that was dancing like a goof.

“Why is it,” Geoff said when Gavin and Michael climbed into the car, “that we seemed to have adopted Michael?”

Gavin and Michael glanced at each other. Was Geoff saying he didn’t want Michael around anymore?

“I can leave.” Michael didn’t sound quite as shocked as perhaps he should. Had something happened?

Geoff glanced in the rearview mirror at Michael as he pulled out of the school parking lot.

“Did I say that?” For a second, he looked like that’s exactly what he wanted to say, but it passed in a flash. “I just find it amusing that he’s spending more time at ours than his own home; not that I’m complaining, Gavin, don’t give me that look. He’s as welcome as you are. It just seemed to happen so naturally, is all.”

Gavin blinked and glanced between his two friends. He caught Griffon’s eye but she just shrugged. She obviously knew as much as he did.

“Right. Was there a point to this?” Gavin asked, confused.

“Not really. It was just a passing remark.”

That was clearly the end of the conversation.

*

They had just settled in and started relaxing, bags thrown haphazardly onto the stairs, when someone banged on the door.

“I’ll get it!” Gavin called from the couch where he and Michael were playing Halo. It was Ray, who’d managed to catch a ride with Jack, Caiti and Joel. “Hey guys! Come in!”

They all greeted each other and then went through to say hi to the others. Ray held back with Gavin as he checked to see if anyone else had pulled up outside.

“So, how goes it?” Ray asked, as if they hadn’t seen each other a half hour ago.

“Yeah, good. Tonight is gonna be top!”

Ray laughed. “Yeah. It’s gonna be nice just to hang out.”

Gavin grinned at his friend. “Although, between me and you, I hope we don’t really have to watch The Ring. I hate that movie.”

Ray snorted. “You’re such a pussy.”

“You’re a pussy, pussy.”

“Oh, you got me!”

Nobody else seemed to be climbing from their cars so they headed back inside.

Jack had taken his seat and his controller and was currently being served his ass on a plate by Michael.

Ray grabbed a spare controller and was joined into the game. Soon they were all shouting at each other, laughing.

Gavin went through into the kitchen to see Geoff.

“Hey, Geoff. Everybody.” He received a chorus of ‘hey, Gavin’s back. Everyone seemed to be going the sober route, at least for now; everyone was nursing a coke.

“Can I speak to you for a sec, Geoff?”

“Sure thing, buddy.” They went out into the back yard. There was still the chill of spring in the air, but summer was definitely on its way. “So, what’s up?”

“Is something happened between you and Michael?”

“What? No. Why would you say that?”

Gavin shrugged. “I dunno. You’ve both just seemed off today.”

Geoff raised his brows in his typical ‘I have no idea what you’re talking about’ expression. “I don’t know about Michael but I’m fine, Gav.”

Gavin thought it over and then shrugged again, to himself. Why would Geoff lie? “Okay then. So you’re cool?”

Geoff grinned and pushed Gavin gently out of his way. “We’re cool, dumb ass.”

Gavin laughed and followed him back inside.

By six, everyone had arrived except Barbara and Jordan. They’d texted to say they were gonna be late and were gonna try and grab some booze on the way. Gavin always wondered how most of his friends managed to get their hands on so much alcohol, then then, he reasoned, they probably did it the same way Geoff did; fake ids and inattentive parents.

Whenever Geoff or Griffon had to go over to their parents, a new bottle of liquor magically appears in the cupboard over the sink.

The beer had finally been broken out but nobody really seemed to be feeling it. Usually, when they all got together at one of their houses, it was almost an unspoken challenge to see who could get absolutely hammered the quickest. Now, though, everyone seemed content with one bottle of beer, and they were going to enjoy it. They were drinking because they enjoyed it rather than drinking to get smashed.

There was a tense battle going on in Halo when the door was knocked.

“Oh, it’s probably Barb and Jordan. Go let them in, Michael,” Gavin told him from the couch, concentrating, to no avail, on not dying.

Five minutes later, Michael walked back in looking rather confused. There was another boy behind him.

“Hey, B!” the boy called out.

Gavin looked over and jumped up in surprise. “Dan! What are you doing here?” He ran over to his friend and hugged him. He hadn’t seen him since he’d left England.

“I’m only here for the weekend. Geoff organised it.”

Gavin spun round to face a smug-looking Geoff. “You planned this? That’s why you’ve been so off this week!”

Geoff just shrugged, grinning. “I don’t know what you’re talking about, kid.”

“So, how’ve you been, B?” Dan asked as Gavin pulled him into the living room. Gavin’s place in the game had been taken so he had time to catch up with his friend.

*

Michael watched from the kitchen. He narrowed his eyes as Dan pushed Gavin onto the floor, and as Gavin just grinned and pushed right back.

Gavin had completely ignored everyone except Dan since he’d arrived four hours ago. He watched them bicker and taunt each other, laughing and falling over each other as an impromptu wrestling match started up.

Michael’s grip tightened on his bottle and he sighed. He wasn’t jealous. Of course he wasn’t; Gavin could be friends with whoever he wanted. Why would he be jealous of that smug little British prick? It wasn’t like Gavin was his or anything. He and Gavin were barely even friends!

“You’re gonna be pissed when that goes through your hand.”

Michael looked up, ripped from his moody thoughts. Ray was stood beside him, looking half-pitiful, half-amused.

“What?” he snapped, loosening his grip on the beer bottle; he didn’t realise he was holding it so tight.

“Are you imagining it’s Dan’s neck?” Ray smirked. At Michael’s confused look, he added, “the bottle. Oh, come on, you’re jealousy is so strong you practically pulsating with it.”

“I’m not jealous. Fuck off.”

Ray cocked an eyebrow. “Right. Why don’t you come and join in, then?”

“I’d rather not,” he sneered. He didn’t know what it was about him, but he didn’t trust Dan. He wasn’t _jealous_ of him, though.

“Look, I know you know about, y’ know; Gavin.”

“What about him?”

“About how he, uh… _feels._ ”

Michael rolled his eyes. “What of it?” Michael had a feeling he knew where this was going, though, and he didn’t like it.

“You don’t, uh… reciprocate, do you?”

“For fuck’s sake, Ray! No, I fucking don’t,” he snapped. He slammed his bottle in the sink and walked away before his fists got involved. Why would no one believe him?

“Michael?” Gavin called as Michael stormed through the living room. “Michael, where are you going?”

“Home. I got a call from mom.”

“Oh. Well, Geoff can give you a ride?”

Michael stopped in the doorway, aware of all the eyes on him. He forced himself to breathe and calm down. He didn’t turn around though; the disappointment in Gavin’s voice was enough – he didn’t need to see it, too.

“Nah, it’s cool. I can walk.”

“Do you want-”

“No, you stay here. Catch up with your buddy. I’ll be fine.”

“Oh, okay. Let me know if anything’s wrong, right?”

“Right. I’ll see you later.” He walked out before anyone else could say anything.

Once he was outside, he breathed in the cool air until his lungs burned.

_For fuck’s sake, Jones, Geoff was right; you need to sort your shit out._

_Shit._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, Dan's been thrown into the fray (thanks to ali-cat for reminding me he exists). I hope you liked this chapter, even though nothing major really happens. Also, sorry for the wait. I was hoping to have this out Monday or Tuesday but I've only really just recovered from the Op Supply Drop stream so I've spent the last few days sleeping. 
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a bit of a mish-mash, I think. I ended up having to rewrite half of it because I fucked up big style. It's a bit of a whirlwind and I think the pace is a bit skew-whiff but hopefully it's okay? Let me know if it's really awful and I'll sort it out properly. But for now, you've waited long enough for this chapter and I'm sorry it's late. I honestly hope you enjoy.

_21:32 -Hey, did you get home okay?_

_22:04 -Michael?_

_22:06 -Are you okay?_

_22:47_ _–Stop ignoring me. Did I do something? I_ _’m sorry for whatever it was?_

 _23:35_ _–Everyone_ _’s finally left. If you_ _’re going to be a donut and not reply, I_ _’m going to sleep._

 _23:36_ _–Dan say hi! :D_

Michael threw his phone to the end of his bed at the last text. He’d been, well no, he hadn’t been sulking, he’d just been thinking.

He’d surmised that he really didn’t like Dan. He was smug and was like a flame, drawing Gavin in like a moth. Michael wished he could snuff him out.

Not that he was jealous.

He sighed and threw himself against his pillows, deciding to sleep instead of think.

“Michael, are you okay?” Michael grumbled as his eyelids were flooded with painful sunlight. When his eyes had adjusted slightly, he saw his mother poking her head around the door. “Only it’s nearly noon and you’re not really one to sleep in.”

Michael just groaned and turned over. He didn’t care if it was five o’ clock in the evening. He’d been having a nice dream.

He was in a forest clearing at the sun was setting. He was sat on a blanket with a picnic basket by his feet. He was talking quietly to someone laid on his left. The sun was filtering through the leaves, making sandy hair turn into gold as he carded his hand through it. The other person smiled, their eyes closed. They looked peaceful, almost asleep. Michael continued to play with their hair, turning himself so he was facing them.

Their eyes opened and they were such a brilliant green with shots of gold picked out by the sun. It was Gavin. It was only Gavin. He smiled back at his boy. They didn’t need words.

Gavin reached up and pulled Michael down beside him, turning him into a little spoon. The warmth of the sun on his cheek and the arms wrapped around him made him sleepy. Gavin placed small kisses on his shoulders, so Michael kissed his fingertips.

Everything was warm and liquid and golden, like honey left out in the sun.

A sudden vibration against his leg jerked him from the dream. He hadn’t meant to fall back asleep. He hadn’t expected to return to the dream, either. But now that he was awake, he was pissed. Why would he dream about such a stupid thing? How ridiculous.

Only there was still a warmth in his stomach and phantom arms around his waist.

He growled as he sat up, blinking against the head rush that accompanied moving too fast. His phone was still at the end of his bed. He didn’t really want to check it.

He was still shaken from his stupid fucking dream and had read the text three times over before it registered.

_Good morning, Michael! From Gavin and Dan. :D_

Of course. Dan was still around. Michael sighed and threw his phone back on the bed. May even he'd go to Ray's and mooch, seeing as Gavin didn't want to know.

*

Gavin had walked down stairs expecting Michael to be sprawled on the sofa, he was there so often. It took him a moment to remember that it was actually Dan sleeping over. Dan was actually in Austin!

It had been months since Gavin had last seen his best friend. They'd spoken a few times over Skype but they'd both been so busy, and the time zones were so far apart, it was hard to find the time.

The fact that he was here, on Gavin's sofa, was great. He hadn't realised how much he'd missed his friend.

"Morning, B."

Dan reclined his head and smiled, hair sticking up every which way and the remnants of sleep still in his eyes.

"Afternoon, B."

Gavin grinned. “You know we’ve got a spare room, right?”

“Yeah, I dunno how I ended up down here.”

Laughing, Gavin swatted at his friend’s legs to make room for him to sit down. When Dan didn’t move, Gavin just sat on his legs.

They were quiet for a while, wrapped up in their own thoughts. Gavin checked his phone from any reply from Michael; there was none. Gavin sighed and rolled his eyes.

“He’s still not replied, has he?”

Gavin shook his head. “I know he’s there. I know he’s getting my messages.”

“It’s me,” Dan said wisely.

Gavin frowned. “You’ve barely been here twelve hours.”

“It makes no odds. He thinks I’m moving in on you. How would you feel if his best friend came into town and they were so much closer than you were, even though you’d spent weeks together, nigh on inseparable, and he’d not seen this friend for months?”

Gavin sighed. “You’re only here for today though. You’re leaving in the morning.”

“So why don’t you call him? Invite him round. It’d be nice to get to know the bloke you can’t stop talking about.”

Gavin looked at his friend with a raised brow. “Since when did you get a brain?”

Dan laughed and jolted his legs, almost throwing Gavin from the couch.

For a few moments, the Michael dilemma was forgotten. Gavin understood, but Michael was being a bit of a numpty. Gavin didn’t know where this sudden jealous streak, if that’s what it was, came from. Nothing had changed. Gavin was so confused. Michael has made it very clear that he had no feelings for Gavin. He was with Lindsay, and Gavin was happy about that! Dan thought Gavin was upset because his friend was ignoring him, which he was, but he couldn’t help that pulling of his heartstrings that reminded him this was deeper than friendship. On his behalf, at the very least. 

*

“Just remember, he’s leaving tomorrow.”

“It doesn’t change anything, though, does it?”

“No, Michael, it doesn’t.”

Michael frowned. “What?”

“Nothing’s changed! Dan turned up and you think shit hit the fan but nothing’s changed. You’re still friends. Dan’s not stolen him. You can still have your stupid fucking fights over nothing and do whatever it is you do to pass the time. He can still wind you up and watch you spin. Dan doesn’t erase these past few weeks.”

“I know that! That’s not the fucking problem.”

“Then what is?”

“I don’t fucking know! I just don’t like him.”

“Good thing he’s leaving then, right?”

“Whatever.”

Ray just rolled his eyes.

“Why don’t you just call him? See if he wants to hang out? Maybe you could even get to know Dan a bit.”

“Why should I?”

“Because I know you want to.”

Michael exhaled slowly, as if trying to get a grip on things.

“Come on, you did just walk out yesterday for no apparent reason. What happened, anyway?”

“I said; my mom rang.”

Ray shot him a look that clearly said, ‘yeah fucking right’ but didn’t push.

After a while, Michael picked up his phone. Before he could do anything, though, he saw a text from Lindsay.

_We need to talk. X_

That never meant anything good.

“Look, I have to go. Lindsay says we need to talk.”

Ray grimaced. “Good luck, man. Maybe swing by Gavin’s. Give him a chance.”

Michael knew he didn’t mean Gavin. He rolled his eyes, said his goodbyes, and left, a strange feeling of dread in the pit of his stomach.

Lindsay smiled serenely at him when he arrived.

“My parents are out so we can talk here.”

Michael nodded and followed her inside. He always felt uncomfortable at her house. It was pristine, and everything had its place. It was like a homely hospital.

“So, what’s up?” Michael said when they were settled on the couch. Usually they’d be cuddled up or making out, but now there was a deliberate distance between them.

“I want you to know that I don’t want this.”

Michael frowned. “Want what?”

Lindsay sighed softly. She was quiet, trying to figure out how to word what she wanted to say. Michael sat, perched on the edge of the sofa, his nerved fraying more with every passing moment.

He always tried to be macho, be the tough guy, be strong, but Lindsay had always brought out the slightly softer side to him. She was able to squeeze past the barriers. She always made him nervous, but she also calmed him down.

She looked forlorn, but determined, as if she really didn’t want to say it, but it had to be done for the greater good.

Michael hated what she had to say.

*

Gavin spent the day with Dan, messing about around the house and neighbourhood. They caused havoc in the town and made a mess in the restaurant where they had late lunch. They were just trying to make some memories before Dan had to leave again.

“I don’t want you to go,” Gavin admitted as they relaxed in the back yard. “It’s been great to see you again, B.”

Dan laughed. “Yeah, it’s been a laugh. Maybe I can visit again sometime. Or you can come back home for a bit.”

“Yeah, maybe.”

They were quiet, soaking up the evening sun even though it was cold enough to see their breath.

“I’m not going to see you at all when you go away to Harrogate.”

“Nah, I get to come home for holidays. One of us could visit then. Besides, that ages away yet. It’s only March. I don’t go until September.”

“It’s only a few. You’ll be a fully trained soldier before you know it, B.”

Dan laughed, but he had a look of hope in his eyes. It had always been his dream to go to Harrogate and join the Forces.

“You’ll do great. You’ll ace your exams and training.”

“I really hope so.”

The atmosphere was becoming too serious for Gavin, and also for Dan it seemed, because he reached and tipped Gavin’s chair over, laughing childishly.

“But we’ve got the rest of the day, so let’s not mope, B. I still need to thrash your arse at Halo.”

*

Monday morning dawned bright and crisp. Gavin woke up to the usual sound of Geoff shouting at him from the bottom of the stairs, but it didn’t annoy him quite as much as it used to.

He’d had a great weekend with his best friend. They’d parted ways at the airport with promises of another visitation sooner than another seven odd months. Gavin had stupid blackmail-worthy selfies filling his image gallery which made him laugh just thinking about it. It had been a great weekend, but it was going to be good to get back to his friends, and Michael. It seemed he was doing everything in his power to not have to see or speak to Gavin.

When Gavin ventured over to his house Sunday afternoon, determined to see his friend, starting to get pissed off with the constant cold shoulder, his mom told him he was out. She didn’t say where and she looked rather guilty, her smile almost apologetic. Not to mention the curtains twitched.

Michael wasn’t at his locker, nor was he at Gavin’s. Gavin had practically contacted everyone he knew to see if they knew anything. What had got into Michael? It was as though he’d just vanished from the face of the earth after leaving the party on Friday.

He was getting tired with it.

He found Lindsay out on the front steps with Barbara and a few others.

“Hey guys, have you seen Michael?”

Lindsay sighed. “I’ve not seen him, Gavin, I’m sorry.” She seemed sad, and everyone else looked conflicted about something.

“Uh, okay. Is everything okay?”

“Of course it is,” Lindsay smiled, but it wasn’t as bright as usual. She lacked her bounciness, her muchness.

The brightness of the morning also faded into grey clouds and cold air. Gavin was getting antsy and everyone was getting pissed off with him.

He knew Michael was at school. He’d seen him between lessons but was never able to catch up to him.

Finally, after being held up in the lesson before lunch, he found him. Or rather, he collided into him rather forcefully as he walked out of the classroom.

“Watch where you’re fucking-! Oh, it’s you,” Michael snapped, fury in his eyes, stiff-backed and curled-lipped.

Gavin frowned, even more annoyed. “Damn right it’s me. Where have you been?”

“What are you on about?”

“You’ve been ignoring me for days! What did I do?”

“You didn’t do anything. I was letting you hang with your buddy! I thought you’d fucking appreciate it.”

“You think you weren’t invited? If you’d bothered to answer any of your messages, you would have known that you were always welcome. Dan wanted to get to know you, you know, but you were a pissy little smegpot who went off in a strop.”

“Too late now, isn’t it?” He tried to walk away but Gavin stepped in front of him, blocking his path. “Move out of the way.”

“No.”

“Gavin,” Michael warned, his modicum of patience wearing thin.

Still Gavin didn’t move. He was determined, and Michael should’ve known that by now.

 _“Get out of the fucking way!_ _”_

“I want to know what I did. Why are you being such a prick? You stormed out on the party and then ignore me all weekend, and now your shouting at me like I know why we’re fighting!”

“This isn’t about you! The world doesn’t always revolve around your big fucking head, Gavin. Just get out of the fucking way!”

“I want to know.”

“It’s-!”

“Please, Michael? We’re friends. Friends tell friends things, so friends can help, right?” Shouting didn’t work so maybe a confusing guilt trip would.

“ _What_?”

“What’s happened to make you so angry at me?”

“You really want to know?” Gavin waited patiently. “Fucking fine. Lindsay broke up with me. Because of _you._ ”

Gavin eyes widened in shock; He didn’t know what reason to expect but it certainly wasn’t that.

“B-because of me?” _That explains why Lindsay looked so downtrodden this morning._

“Because of you. Now leave me alone.”

“Why because of me?”

“She knows, Gavin,” Michael said, suddenly completely drained. His anger faded away leaving him just an exhausted confused boy, not knowing with way was up.

“Knows what?”

“Everything. The kiss, the feelings; everything. Geoff told her.”

“I- wait, what? I’m confused. How did Geoff know?”

“I don’t fucking know! But he told me and then he obviously told her, and now I’ve been dumped because of your stupid fucking inability not to take no for an answer; She said that feelings had obviously been changed and it was right for all parties involved if we broke up.”

Gavin frowned. What the hell did that mean?

“Whose feelings changed? Hers?”

“Mine.”

Gavin started, even more shocked and confused.

“But you really liked her! She’s good for you!”

“Don’t you think I fucking know that?” Michael’s anger flared up again. “It’s your fucking fault. I fucking hate you.”

Gavin inhaled sharply. “Why is it my fault, though. What have I done?”

“It’s- I…” Michael growled, cautiously looked around and then did the last thing Gavin expected.

He kissed him.

It wasn’t nice. It was angry and hard and chaste. Less a kiss than collision of lips, fury and confusion and want and hate and sorrow and hope; every possible emotion manifested itself into that one brief moment before Michael pushed back and walked away, leaving Gavin shaken and more bewildered than he’d ever been.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Army Foundation College in Harrogate is a school I always wanted to attend, but couldn't. I slipped that in there simply because I know Dan is in the forces and he had to start somewhere, right? I live vicariously through my characters, even if they don't get much screen-time. 
> 
> I hope you enjoyed reading. Let me know if this is terrible. I get really nervous when I put out what I think is a bad chapter. But on the bright side I think this is the longest chapter so that's got to count for something, right?


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not very sorry at all.

Gavin put his hand to his lips, watching as Michael walked away.

His heart was pounding. _What the hell just happened?_

Half of him, the selfish half, wanted to dance and sing and rejoice because Michael had kissed him, willingly. Angrily, but willingly. Michael had feelings for him, undetermined though they were.

Mostly, though, he just wanted to cry. He never cried, but he wanted to. In that moment, he wanted to bawl like a child because he had ruined _everything._ He hadn’t meant to get in between Michael and Lindsay.

That night at the party had been the most amazing mistake of Gavin’s measly life; it wasn’t meant to mean anything.

Of course, it had meant everything to Gavin, but nothing was supposed to come of it! It hadn’t even been his idea! Michael had wanted it then. Gavin barely knew about Lindsay then, but what odds did it make if he knew or not?

Gavin had ruined Michael’s relationship; a relationship that worked so well.

Michael had frequently told Gavin how much Lindsay meant to him, how good she was for him. Lindsay was like the water that put out his fiery rage. She cooled him off and propped him up, brought out the best in him.

Gavin only seemed to bring out the worst, antagonise the rage.

But Gavin didn’t know when to leave well enough alone.

*

Furious tears spiked at Michael’s eyes. No matter how much he tried to blink them away, they refused to leave. He was not going to cry, especially not because of that British son of a bitch.

It was times like these when he needed Lindsay the most. She’d calm him down with soft kisses and kind words; her never ending patience with him was astounding.

But she was gone.

She was gone.

_Gone._

Michael clenched his eyes shut and balled his fists in his hair. He was shaking. He could feel himself falling apart.

There were so many different conflicting emotions inside of him, pulling him in different directions.

He just sat there, hidden behind the bike sheds, shivering alone.

Five minutes or five hours later, he heard someone approaching.

Half of him yearned for Lindsay, and the other for Gavin, for the same, and yet completely different reasons.

It wasn’t either of them, though.

It was Geoff.

Michael stood up so fast his vision swam.

“Michael,” Geoff said quietly, almost a question. “Michael, I’m sorry.”

But Michael was too angry for words. He took three steps forwards and ploughed his fist into Geoff’s face. Geoff took it as Michael punched him. His blows were becoming weaker, his breath hitching. The tears he’d tried so hard to hold back fell.

“You son of a bitch! Why did you do it? Why?!”

“I told you you needed to sort your shit out, Michael. You couldn’t keep playing them both. I’m sorry, Michael, I truly am, but it’s for the best.”

“How do you know what’s best?” Michael screamed. “You don’t know anything!”

He collapsed onto the grass, rage and sorrow boiling over, rendering him immobile. He slumped on the grass and shook and cried.

Geoff sat beside him.

“I loved her.”

“And you love him.”

It wasn’t a question but Michael shook his head regardless.

“I was wrong. This isn’t Gavin’s fault, it’s yours.”

Geoff looked at Michael, took in his wild red eyes, the way he was curled in on himself, so vulnerable and broken at the moment, and nodded.

“I know. I’m sorry.”

“It was your game. You started all this. If I hadn’t played that stupid game, none of this would have happened. I’d still have her; I’d still hate Gavin… why did you do it?”

“I didn’t do anything, it was just a party.”

“Not that! Why did you tell Lindsay?! How did you even know?”

“I didn’t. I didn’t know. I just saw. I saw the way you were with him. I knew how he felt long before anyone else, possibly before he even knew himself. I saw the way you acted around each other after that night. You were always so careful to make sure he wasn’t touching you, that you weren’t being nicer than usual, that you didn’t let your feelings show.”

“I don’t have any feelings for him!” Michael tried to sound convicting but his voice was weak, and they both knew he was lying.

Geoff just continued talking as though he hadn’t been interrupted.

“I watched as you became closer. I watched you push him away and then pull him right back in, as though you could never really let him go. I put two and two together and took a shot in the dark.”

“I hate you.”

“I know.”

“I really fucking hate you.”

“I know, Michael.”

Geoff put an arm around his friend and pulled him into his shoulder as Michael fell to pieces.

*

“Lindsay, can I talk to you?”

Gavin stood before Lindsay and her friends like a rabbit before a starved lion.

But Lindsay just smiled, excused herself from her group, and followed Gavin out of the cafeteria.

“I’m so sorry, Lindsay. I didn’t know! It wasn’t meant- I mean, it _didn’t_ mean anything! You don’t have to break up with him because of me. There is no me in this picture. It’s just you and him. It’s just you and him.” He repeated that last sentence over and over, faster and faster.

Lindsay grabbed his shoulders and shook him hard, shaking him out of his loop.

He looked around wildly. “I’m so sorry, Lindsay.”

“Gavin! Calm down! It’s not your fault. It’s not, I promise. Geoff didn’t really tell me anything I didn’t have my suspicions about. The only thing I had no idea about was that you’d actually got it on at that party.” She smiled, trying to make a joke, but it was sad and missed her eyes by a mile.

Gavin’s face just fell. “We didn’t! We didn’t do anything! He just kissed me. I-I mean, I kissed him. This isn’t his fault. I just… I just…”

“You like him a lot, don’t you?” Lindsay said. Her eyes were bright with unshed tears, but there was a hint of a true smile on her face.

Gavin just stared at her, shaking, feeling like he was going crazy.

He didn’t know why he’d confronted her to begin with. He had moved to follow Michael but his feet had drawn him to Lindsay, to babbling like a lunatic, to try and make things right.

“It’s okay, Gavin. He likes you too. It’s hard for me to say, but I know it’s true. Gavin, it’s okay. I didn’t break up with him to let him be with you, but if that’s what you both want, what will make you both happy, then I won’t stand in your way. We’re still friends, Gav. I don’t hate you. This isn’t your fault.”

“But Michael said-.”

Lindsay laughed lightly. “Michael says a lot of things. He doesn’t mean half of them. He’s better at showing how he feels rather than telling.”

Gavin immediately thought back to the kiss, both of them. The first one, so soft and surprising, it made Gavin’s heart swell just thinking about it; and then the second barely ten minutes ago. It was hard and angry, but it was still a kiss, and it had still been Michael initiating it.

Both times it had been Michael.

“I’m not mad, Gavin. I’ll get over it. Besides, if you love someone, you should let them go, right?”

“But I can’t,” Gavin whispered, and then the shock of what he’d just said hit and he looked at Lindsay with wide, scared eyes. She was smiling, properly. She was crying a little, but she was smiling.

“I know, Gav. I know.”

The rest of the day was a blur. Gavin sat by himself, head in his hands when he wasn’t trying to work. He rebuffed all his friends concerns.

Michael wasn’t anywhere to be seen when the day ended. Geoff and Griffon had waited with Gavin for half an hour before leaving him, at his insistence. He knew Michael had found another way home, he saw him get into Jack’s car, but he didn’t want to go home just yet.

He didn’t want to sit with Geoff because he’d just get mad. He didn’t want Griffon’s sympathy because then he might cry, and that never happens.

He didn’t particularly want to be on his own, either, but he had no choice. He wanted Michael.

He wanted his friend back. He wanted to tell Michael how much he’d fucked up, but Michael already knew, because he’d fucked up Michael, too.

It was growing dark before Gavin moved from the parking lot. He’d been staring at his phone, willing Michael to call him. It never happened.

Before he knew what he was doing, he was calling Michael.

The ringing lasted for an eternity before he picked up.

“Ray, I’m fucking fine. Piss off.”

“Michael?” Gavin said quietly.

There was a pause, making Gavin think Michael had already hung up, but then he spoke. “Who is this?”

“Michael, can I come over?”

“Absolutely not. You’re not welcome. I hate you, remember?”

Gavin expected pure fury shot down the phone, not the weary, weak voice that spoke.

“Michael, please.” Gavin voice broke, and then his cheeks were wet. Gavin looked up, but it wasn’t raining. He was crying. His heart hurt. “Michael, I’m so sorry.”

A car drove past and shot Gavin a funny look. He supposed it did look a bit strange; a boy crying sat alone in his school parking lot.

“Where are you?” Michael asked suddenly, concern suddenly lacing his voice. “Gavin?”

“School.”

“Did Geoff leave you?”

“No. Well, yeah, but I told him to go. Michael, please, we need to talk.”

“Gavin, I can’t. I can’t do this. Not now. It hurts too much.”

Gavin hiccoughed and scrubbed his face with his free hand.

They sat on the phone in silence for some time, just listening to each other’s painful silence.

“I’m sorry,” Gavin said again, because there was nothing else to say.

“Come round,” Michael said.

“What?”

“I said you can fucking come here. Hurry up before I change my mind.”

Then Michael hung up. Gavin stared at his phone.

Now that he was actually allowed, he was scared. What if Michael just wanted see him to beat him up? Or to tell him he never wanted to see him again?

Gavin sighed and started walking despite his fears; he really couldn’t stay away.

*

There was a quiet knock on the front door. Michael heaved himself up and slouched towards it. He ached and he was tired and sad. It was Gavin.

He looked like he’d been crying, which was strange because he hadn’t cried since he was a child, Michael knew.

Michael opened the door and ushered Gavin in silently.

“We’re going to have to go upstairs because Mom’s going to be home any time now.”

“Michael, I-.”

“Save it, Gav. You’re sorry, I know. I’m sorry, too. We can talk upstairs.”

Michael led Gavin into his room and shut the door. Gavin stood awkwardly in the middle of the room before Michael made him sit down. Michael sat beside him on the bed before lying backwards with a heavy sigh.

“I thought we were friends, Gav.”

“We are.”

“How did this get so out of control?”

“I don’t know. I’m sorry.”

“I know. Come here.”

Michael grabbed the back of Gavin’s shirt and pulled him down beside him. Gavin froze stiff on the bed, staring determinedly at the ceiling.

“Relax, Gavin. I’m too tired to lash out.”

Gavin curled into a ball facing Michael, feeling more tears stinging his eyes.

“Michael,” he sighed, looking up at him. Michael looked back, seeing his own pain mirrored in the Brit’s eyes.

Then he realised that it truly wasn’t Gavin’s fault. It wasn’t anyone’s fault. He’d known from the beginning how Gavin had felt. He should have stayed away, but he couldn’t. He’d wanted to be friends with idiot, even though he was so infuriating.

And Lindsay was right, as loath as he was to admit it; feelings had changed. Gavin hadn’t replaced her, no one could do that, but he felt a strong pull towards the other boy, a pull that had weakened his link with Lindsay.

Michael watched Gavin’s eyes swim, watched as Gavin clawed his way up Michael’s chest until they were face to face. He watched Gavin lean in, watched his head tilt to the side, watch his tongue wet his lips and his eyes flutter closed, all as though it was in slow motion.

His heart stuttered when their lips brushed. His own eyes closed and he sighed. They weren’t kissing, not really. They were both too scared to take it any further than a brush of the lips because that would make their feelings true, that would be casting Lindsay out of the picture, that would…

It would be too nice for such a sad moment.

But they did kiss. Gavin’s hands found Michael’s face and he cradled it, stroking his thumb across his cheekbone over and over.

They were both hurting so much, hurting for and because of each other. They were both yearning for each other.

Michael broke away, his breath a little faster, a little shallower.

He sighed Gavin’s name as the boy peppered kisses across his cheek. Michael could feel his heart fluttering, his pulse jumping in his neck.

He shouldn’t be allowing this; he should throw Gavin out and tell him to fuck off.

But it felt nice and calming. It was just nice to have someone there, even if that person was the cause of your pain.

It seemed as though Gavin was trying to heal Michael’s and his own pain with kissed along cheekbones and down jaws.

Michael inhaled sharply as teeth found his neck. His hands balled into Gavin’s shirt, and Gavin froze.

“Sorry. This is too much. I got car-!”

Michael rolled them over until he was on top. He ran his hands through Gavin’s wild hair and smiled, even though it hurt.

“Shut up,” he mumbled as he crushed their lips together.

It was sweet and painful and gentle, as though if they moved too much, the other might disappear and they’d be left alone again.

Their lips melded together and Gavin’s tongue traced Michael’s bottom lip. Michael sighed and deepened the kiss. He felt like he was floating in limbo, as though the past few hours had never happened and this was all a dream.

He balled his hands in Gavin’s hair and Gavin pulled at Michael’s shoulders. Now they just needed to be close. Their pain had divided them and now it was bringing them together. They deal with everything else later.

It was Michael’s turn to pepper kisses down Gavin’s neck. They were firmer than Gavin’s had been, more open mouthed and desperate. His teeth nipped and his tongue laved and Gavin sighed, arching his back slightly, tipping his head backwards.

“Michael, wait, please. Michael!” His voice hitched and Michael looked up at him with dark eyes and swollen lips.

“I thought you wanted this?” Michael asked. “I thought this is what we both wanted, why we both hurt so much.”

“Michael, I’ve wanted this for a long time, believe me, I just… are you sure? This isn’t just because you’re hurting and I’m available?”

Michael frowned and rolled over so he was lying next to Gavin.

“No, it’s not. But we can stop if you want.”

“No, that’s not what I want. I just think we should, y’ know… slow down.”

“We were only kissing.”

“I know, Michael. But it’s been a hard few days. I’m so tired. Can we just lay here?”

Michael crawled up his bed until his head hit the pillows, pulling Gavin up with him. He wrapped his arms around Gavin and pulled his head onto his chest.

“We can lay here.”

So they led there until they both fell asleep.

Everything else could wait.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think this is only going to have a few more chapter left. I don't know, though. I could be wrong. 
> 
> I hope you enjoyed this chapter. I practically wrote it in one sitting. I enjoyed writing it, but it hurt. Goddamn, so much angst.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The long awaited chapter 13 is finally here, guys! Thanks for being so patient with me. My internet still isn't sorted, so I don't know when chapter 14 will be out, but for the mean time I've managed to hop on to my neighbour's for a bit. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy this. It's pretty much all filler but the last few chapters have been a tad angsty so hopefully this breaks it up a bit.

When Gavin started waking up, he kept his eyes closed. He was scared that if he opened them, the warm body wrapped around him would disappear and he’d be left shivering.

He shifted around until he thought he was facing Michael before opening his eyes.

Michael was already gazing back, eyes reflecting the small amount of light from outside.

Gavin smiled. He hadn’t forgotten about anything, but Michael was real. This was all real.

Michael pecked him on the lips twice. “Hello.”

His voice was rough from sleep, and gentle. It was so different from the usual shouting or weariness of the past few days. Gavin hoped he could hear it more often.

“Hello, my little Michael.”

Michael kissed him again.

“What time is it?” Gavin asked, stretching like a cat. It was dark outside and the house was quiet, so he assumed it was very early morning.

“It’s four o’ clock and I have a shit load of missed calls and texts from everyone. Fuck me,” Michael frowned in the light from his phone.

Gavin checked his own cell to see that he also had a load of missed calls and messages.

He sighed and put his phone back down in the side table. How it got there in the first place, he didn’t know.

“Michael,” Gavin said, but a yawn cut it in half. “Kiss me.”

Gavin thought Michael would say no, that he’d suddenly come to his senses and tell Gavin it had been another mistake, but Michael just shifted them until Gavin they were laying comfortably, their legs tangled together.

“If that’s what you want, Gav,” Michael whispered.

Much like their first kiss, this was sweet and soft, and made Gavin’s toes curl.

Michael broke away after a while and hid his face in the crook of Gavin’s neck.

“I’m sorry, Gavin.”

Gavin’s heart fell and his fists clenched involuntarily around Michael’s shirt. This was it; this was the moment Michael told Gavin that this was wrong, a mistake, and that Gavin had to leave.

“I’m sorry I said I hated you.”

“W-what?” That wasn’t what Gavin had expected. At all. Michael rarely apologised for things he’d said.

“I don’t hate you. I’ve never hated you. In fact, I rather like you. It’s confusing and painful right now, but I think I’m ready to admit that I like you.”

Gavin grinned. “I like you too, you dope.”

Michael kissed his shoulder and settled down to go back to sleep, this time pulling Gavin’s arm around his waist so he was the little spoon. “I know.”

*

“Michael? Michael! Oh, for Christ’s sake, Mi- oh!”

The sound of his bedroom door slamming open against his desk made him jump violently out of his sleep. Michael sat up and looked around wildly, forgetting momentarily where he was, even though this was his room, his bed, and he’d woken up here for years.

He clocked his mother standing in the doorway and breathed a sigh of relief.

“Oh, hi, mom.”

“Good morning, Michael, Michael’s friend.”

Michael’s relief didn’t last long. He glanced beside him to see Gavin still sound asleep, mouth hanging open.

“Uh, I can explain.”

“You better, young man.” His mother wasn’t strict, and he knew she wouldn’t really care either way, but she didn’t like Michael not telling her things, like someone sleeping around, in his bed, cuddling him.

“He’s uh, this is Gavin.”

Ms. Jones’ eyebrows rose and a small smirk formed. “Oh, so _this_ is Gavin.”

“Yeah, he, uh, we had a project to work on. Sorry I didn’t tell you, ma.”

“Another project? Really, Michael, I’ve never known you to be so studious,” she chuckled sardonically. “Well, I shan’t ask any questions about Lindsay.” She thought she was just making a joke, but realised her mistake when her son’s face fell.

“Has something happened?”

“No. It’s fine.”

“Michael?”

“I said it’s fine!” he didn’t mean to snap at his mother. As soon as he had he apologised.

“It’s okay, Michael. Don’t stay in bed all day, honey,” she smiled softly, apologetically, and left the room.

Michael sighed and fell back against his pillows. He looked down at Gavin and a small smile tugged at his lips.

 _He’s worth it,_ a voice whispered in his head. _You know he is. You can’t deny it any longer._

He shook the Brit gently, calling his name into his ear.

“Gavin? Gav. Gavin, wake up.”

Gavin slept like a log. He needed some persuasion, Michael decided.

He gently kissed the other boy’s cheek, his jawbone, his forehead, his lips. It was strange, kissing someone without them responding in any way, but slowly, Gavin started to come to. When he realised what was happening, he smiled into the light brushes of Michael’s lips.

He started kissing back without opening his eyes, making Michael smile.

He surprised Michael by pulling him until he was lying on top of him, scrambling for his balance.

The kiss was barely broken before Gavin deepened it, brushing his tongue across his own bottom lip and then Michael’s.

Michael ran the hand he wasn’t supporting himself with through Gavin’s hair gently, as thought he;d shatter.

Gavin just grabbed Michael’s ass, pulling him closer.

Michael broke away, laughing incredulously. “Gavin!”

Gavin’s eyes flew open wide. “What? What’s happening? Michael, what are you doing?”

“What am I-? You’re the one trying to dry hump me!”

“What?!” Gavin squeaked. He looked down at their positions, blushing. “Oh, shit! I’m sorry, Michael. I- I thought I was dreaming again.”

Michael sat up, knees either side of Gavin’s hips. He put his hands on Gavin’s chest, smirking. “Again, huh?”

Gavin turned crimson. “Uh… I uh… um… bollocks.”

Michael grinned, rolling off Gavin until they were side by side, staring at the ceiling.

“Sorry,” Gavin mumbled after a while. Michael turned his head to look at him.

“About what?”

“I didn’t mean to grope you. I don’t want to rush this, whatever it is. Everything is fragile, at the moment. I know you probably don’t want me touching you until you sort out everything with Lindsay and everything. But I just… everything just seems to fade away when I’m with you; the pain, the chaos… I know it’s all because of me in the first place and we’re both in the middle of it, but I just… I like you so much, Michael, and it drives me crazy. I-”

“Gavin, shut up,” Michael interrupted with a fond smile. “Now come on, we should get up before my mother comes back.” The look on Gavin’s face had Michael laughing all the way downstairs.

*

They were an hour late for school. Ms. Jones offered to drive them into school despite her annoyance.

“If you’d have gotten up when I came up, you wouldn’t be late,” she chided, but she wore the same smile Griffon did when she picked fun, albeit rather more lined.

When they pulled up outside the school, Ms. Jones bid them good day and they ran into the building.

They both had Chemistry, which was the other side of campus.

“Geoff’s gonna blow a bloody fuse,” Gavin panted as they jogged down the halls.

“He’ll be fine, Gav. Burns, on the other hand…”

They reached the classroom sweaty and very much out of breath. They rested for a moment to resupply their body with oxygen. Gavin grinned at Michael.

“What?” Michael said, suddenly on guard. “What’re you staring at?”

“Nothing. Come on.”

As soon as they opened the door, all eyes were on them.

“Ah, boys. I’m so glad you could make it,” Mr Burns said, voice laced with sarcasm and annoyance. “I’m in half a mind to give you detention, but I have better things to do with my afternoon, so this a warning. Next time, you won’t be so lucky. Take your seats.”

Gavin watched as Michael walked to the back of the class before taking his seat next to Ray.

Ray shot him a look that clearly said, ‘where the fucking fuck have you been?’

Gavin just shook his head minutely, keeping his gaze trained on Mr. Burns.

When they were both settled, Mr Burns continued with the lesson.

“As I was about to say before we were interrupted; today we’ll be having a pop quiz based on-”

“Another one?!” Ray exclaimed.

“Yes, Mr. Narvaez, _another one._ Now,”

“But we only had one a few weeks ago!”

Mr. Burns took a deep breath, as if to ground himself, and then continued, ignoring Ray’s mutterings.

“You’ll have fifty minutes to complete the test. When you’re finished, you may bring it up to me and return to your seat. No one’s leaving until I have every single paper on my desk.”

Ray looked at Gavin as if this was his entire fault. Gavin just shrugged.

When the papers were handed out, Mr. Burns reminded them of their fifty minutes, and then they began.

Not a minute after the test had started, a note landed on Gavin’s desk.

_Where have u been?_

Gavin looked up from his paper to see Ray staring at him his a raised brow.

Rolling his eyes, he jotted a quick _overslept_ in reply and tossed the note back, returning to his Chemistry.

A minute later, the note was back.

_No u didn’t. Geoff said u didn’t go home yesterday. Did u over sleep in the street?_

Gavin sighed. _No._

_No u didn’t go home or no u didn’t sleep on the street?_

_Both._

_Where’d u go then?_

_Michael’s_

Ray suddenly had a coughing fit. Gavin didn’t know if it was coincidence or not. Regardless, he took the time to sneak a glance over his shoulder at Michael. The other boy seemed fixed on his exam, but he eyes flicked up to meet Gavin’s and a small smile crept onto his face. Gavin smiled back and turned around. Ray had calmed down and the note was back.

_Fuck he moves fast._

_It wasn’t like that! He was angry._

_So angry sex? ;)_

_RAY! No! It wasn’t like that. We just talked._

_All night?_

_So u did do it!_

_No! We didn’t do it. There isn’t anything to do._

_Did u at least make out?_

Gavin gawped at Ray’s last comment, and he could feel himself blushing. He could hear Ray snickering beside him.

Mr. Burns coughed, then, eyes trained on him and Ray, eyebrows raised challengingly.

Gavin crumpled the note and pocketed it. Thankfully, he wasn’t pestered for the rest of the lesson.

When lunch rolled round, Gavin made his way to the cafeteria alone.

When he got there, he almost turned right back around and walked back out; Geoff was sat at their usual table talking to Lindsay. It was just them. Gavin sighed and bought his lunch before reluctantly walking over.

“Hey,” he greeted, though it was nervous.

Lindsay greeted him back amicably enough, but Geoff just glared.

“You didn’t come home last night.”

“No.”

“Where were you?”

“Michael’s.” He didn’t want to admit it, but where else could he have gone? Geoff had already talked to Ray, and he didn’t really have anywhere else to stay. Surprisingly, Lindsay didn’t look surprised.

“I had a feeling,” was all she said. She looked tired and sad. Guilt clawed its way up Gavin’s throat.

“Linds, nothing happened.”

She chuckled then. “I know, Gav. I know neither of you are like that. I know we’re not together anymore, and I told you I wouldn’t stop you, but… y’know.”

Gavin did.

Everyone else seemed to arrive, then, breaking the serious moment, making it brighter.

To Gavin’s surprise, Lindsay stayed with them all though lunch. She laughed along at everyone’s stupid jokes, even cracking a few of her own. She shared small smiles with Michael, loss prominent between them.

Gavin stared down at his lunch as they shared their silent company.

“Gav?” Gavin’s head flew up, wondering who was talking to him. Last he noticed, everyone was in their own little groups. It was Michael. “Can I talk to you for a bit?”

Gavin looked around the group of friends. Most of them didn’t pay any attention, still immersed in their own conversations. Ray, Lindsay, and Geoff, however, were looking at him. Ray was grinning madly; Lindsay was smiling truly, her eyes laughing, if a bit sad; Geoff was frowning, but then he rolled his eyes and turned to Griffon to pinch her fries.

Gavin followed Michael out of the lunch room, down a corridor and into an unused classroom. It was only used once a week by the theatre kids, and sat collecting dust the rest of the time.

Michael sat on one of the tables that had been pushed up against the far wall, smiling at Gavin.

“Come here, Gav.”

Gav hesitantly walked towards his friend. “What?”

“’ _Wot?’_ ” Michael mimicked in a high pitched voice. “Just come here.”

When Gavin reached him, Michael wrapped his legs around his thighs, pulling him into an awkwardly positioned hug.

“Linds told me what she said, about not getting in our way.”

“I didn’t know if that’s what you wanted, for there to be a way for us.”

“Is it what you want?” Gavin nodded slightly. Michael gave Gavin room to take half a step back so they could see each other. “I’m sorry, I didn’t get that over you chinning my head,” he deadpanned.

“Yes,” Gavin said, “It is, but-”

He didn’t get to finish his sentence before being pulled down into a kiss. Gavin sighed and his hands fluttered up to cup Michael’s face without any thought. Michael grinned and pulled away after a few seconds.

“Then it’s what I want, too. What I said yesterday; I meant it.”

“Good, because I meant it, too; what I said this morning, I mean. But I just-”

“I don’t want the whole school knowing, though, Gav,” Michael cut in, looking a little guilty for even saying it. “I just, I don’t care if our friends know – I mean, I’m pretty sure they caught on before we did – but I just- what are you grinning at?”

“You’re babbling like a girl, Michael.”

Michael pushed at his shoulders, forgetting his legs were still wrapped around Gavin’s, almost sending the other boy falling on his ass.

“You deserved that. Fuck you, am I a girl. I can fucking prove it!”

Gavin grinned wider. “I know, Michael, but not now.”

They both knew ‘not now’ didn’t mean ‘not here’; it meant it’s too soon. They were still scared they were doing the wrong thing; wrong by their friends, wrong by Lindsay, wrong by each other.

But they also didn’t care. Because the here and now was too good to pass up and they’d waited long enough.

Gavin hummed happily as they spent the rest of lunch together, quiet and alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed! As I said, I don't know when I'll next be able to update, but hopefully soon. I'll try and keep you posted as soon as I know. But for now, thank you for waiting, and thanks for reading!


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Final chapter! It's been an amazing journey, and I wanted to thank you all for reading and reviewing. You made this story as much as I did. There was some more things that I wanted to add in but I decided against it - I think they've been on enough of a rollercoaster for one fic. Maybe I'll do a sequel. Who knows? But for now, please enjoy the end. (Also quick note - mentions of sex but nothing explicit. They're both sixteen-ish and while it's not considered under age here, it may be where you live so... but there's seriously nothing descriptive.)

Dreams plagued Gavin. Good dreams. Very good dreams. Or at least, they started out well.

It was just him and Michael, alone in Michael’s room. They were kissing, nothing explicit; Gavin pulled Michael’s shirt off and threw it to the floor. Gavin loved Michael’s body. He wasn’t perfectly toned, wasn’t buff like the guys in the magazines, but Gavin didn’t care – he’d never cared for masses of muscles.

Michael sighed as Gavin ran his hands down his sides, up his back, scratching lightly.

Michael pulled his head back to grin breathlessly, staring into Gavin’s eyes. Then, slowly, he’d remove Gavin’s shirt, his fingers skating over his ribs, his nipples, before throwing it to join his own on the floor.

Gavin pushed his head back into the pillow as Michael kissed down his jaw, his neck, his shoulders. His fingers played with the button on Gavin’s jeans, teasing him until Gavin bucks his hips.

Michael chuckled lowly, pushing his hand over Gavin’s groin, almost stroking the denim.

Gavin’s breath came fast and heavy. “Michael,” he mewled, “Michael, please.”

Gavin felt the button pop, felt the vibration of the zipper being pulled down slowly, agonisingly so.

When Michael’s hand slipped into his jean, though, the dreams always changed.

They were no longer in Michael’s room, but in the cafeteria at school. There was a large crowd surrounding them, and at the front of it was Lindsay. She wasn’t crying. She was furious.

“How dare you take him from me?! What gives you the right?”

Gavin always woke up, heart pounding, half hard, with an overwhelming sense of guilt.

After an entire weekend of the same thing, he was decidedly frustrated in every sense.

“Lindsay?” he called when he arrived at school on Monday morning. He’d insisted to Geoff that they get there early so he could talk with her.

Lindsay looked around, her face flush from laughing with Barbara about god only knows what.

“Gavin! Good morning!” she greeted. She’d cheered up considerable over the last few days. There was still a pain in her eyes when she saw Gavin, but it wasn’t blame. It was just loss, but there was also happiness, for him and for Michael, and for herself. She knew that letting Michael go, although perhaps not the best thing, was a good thing; she knew Michael was happier with Gavin, though he’d greatly cared for her. And she was free to be with someone that made her just as happy, if not more so, than he had.

“Hey, do you have a minute?” Gavin scuffed his feet against the floor in a nervous habit.

“Sure,” she followed him round to the side of the building where it was quieter, where they could talk in peace. “What’s up?”

Gavin stalled for a minute, biting his thumbnail. He glanced around, making sure they really were alone before saying, “Are you sure you’re okay with this?” Lindsay tilted her head to the side in confusion. “With Michael and me?” he clarified.

Lindsay’s face relaxed, an easy smile appearing. “Gav, how many times do I have to tell you? Of course. You make him happier than I ever could, and that’s what I want.”

“Okay, but are you sure?”

Lindsay laughed at Gavin’s nervousness.

“Fucking hell, Gavin, yes; it’s fine. I’m happy for the both of you.”

Gavin grinned then, his anxieties falling away. “Thank you, Linds!” He ran off to find Michael – he’d not seen him all weekend - leaving Lindsay chuckling, shaking her head.

Gavin walked through the hallways with a spring in his step. He passed his friends and said hello, but was determined to find Michael.

He was walking past the cafeteria when someone grabbed his arm and dragged him into the disused classroom from a few days previous.

“Michael! You nearly scared me to death you smeghead!”

Michael just chuckled, leaning in for a kiss.

“Good morning, boi,” Michael grinned when they separated.

“It is, isn’t it?” Gavin smiled, looping his arms around Michael’s shoulders. “I thought I wasn’t going to see you all day.”

“Well, we’re here now.”

Gavin grinned as Michael kissed him again, firmly and urgently. His fingers tangled in Gavin’s hair, pulling him closer.

Gavin rested his forehead against Michael’s, smiling like a goon when they pulled apart once more.

He could have stood there for eternity, though he’d never say it out loud.

“What do you say we skip out on all of this?”

Gavin lifted his head so he could see Michael properly. “Geoff’d go mad…”

“Oh, c’mon, I can handle Geoff. I’ll have us back before the end of the day. He won’t even know.”

“Where would we go?”

Michael shrugged. “I dunno. We could, uh, go back to mine? Mom’s at work… Or we could go out? Get some lunch?”

“It’s barely eight o clock.”

“Fine, breakfast then. I know a place.”

Gavin thought it over, though he really didn’t need to. “Yeah, I’d like that.”

Michael grinned, relieved. “Great, come on, then, while everyone’s busy arriving. I have mom’s car.”

“You can drive?” Gavin asked as Michael pulled him through the halls.

Michael looked back at the Brit for a second, smirking. “Yeah, I can drive.”

“Legally?”

Michael snickered and Gavin sighed, becoming a little nervous. Skipping out on school, driving around without a license; what other rules could they break?

They reached the car – a black SUV with dice in the window – and climbed in. Gavin glanced out of the window, hoping no one he knew was watching. If Geoff somehow found out, he’d be dead – they both would be.

“Are you sure this is a good idea?”

Michael glanced at Gavin before turning his eyes back to the road, pulling out of the parking lot and making his way into town.

“We can go back if you want. I just thought, y’ know… it’d be nice to go out on- uh, to go out.”

Gavin sighed before grinning. “Yeah, all right, then.”

Five minutes later they pulled up alongside a park.

“I thought we were getting breakfast?”

Michael turned the engine off and face Gavin, smiling. “We are.”

“What, are we gonna turn into giraffes and eat the trees?”

Michael raised an eyebrow and Gavin grinned.

“No, dumbass. The café’s in the park. Come on.”

They climbed out of the car and Gavin headed round to Michael’s side. Michael took his hand and they entered the park.

It was a nice day, with summer’s pending arrival evident in the warmth of the sun and the life in the trees. Gavin took a deep breath and felt Michael squeeze his hand as they walked. The warmth of Michael’s hand calmed him, and he hadn’t realised how nervous he’d become during the drive until he glanced over at his boy, taking in his features, soft in the sun, his freckles more apparent.

He was falling fast.

“I talked to Lindsay, earlier,” Michael said, throwing Gavin a sidelong glance.

“Oh?”

“She said you were worried.”

It wasn’t a question. Gavin wondered how she’d managed to catch him before Gavin had.

“I wasn’t worried, I was just, uh…”

“You know she’s cool with us, right?” Gavin loved how Michael had said ‘us’ so easily.

“I know, I just… I broke you up, and you were both so happy together, and I just…”

Michael sighed, stopping to turn and face Gavin. “Gavin,” he said softly, much unlike his usual tough demeanour. “I was very happy with her. Happier than I’ve ever been before.”

Gavin felt his heart drop. Every second he spent with Michael was the happiest of his life, but he was always expecting Michael to realise that he had nothing on Lindsay. He was dumb and childish and lanky where she was bright and mature and beautiful. Michael must have seen his face fall, because he cupped it in his hands, bringing their faces closer together so the only thing Gavin could see was Michael’s eyes, bright and wide.

“I _was_ happier with her. But then your stupid ass came along and I realised, at that party, that as much as you get on my nerves and annoy the shit out of me, I love you, Gavin.”

Gavin’s eyes widened and his fallen heart swelled in his throat.

“What?” he whispered, too scared to blink in case he was dreaming again.

“You heard me, jackass,” he grinned. He was going to say more, perhaps ask Gavin to say it back, but he didn’t get the chance. Gavin wrapped his arms around Michael’s neck, bending slightly to press their lips together.

The warmth of Michael’s hands seeped through the back of his shirt, easing the worry, reinforcing Gavin’s affection for the other boy.

It was a quick kiss, soft and chaste.

“Now, what say you we go and get some breakfast?”

*

“Where are Gavin and Michael?” Geoff asked at lunch, immediately noting their absence.

“In town,” Ray commented before realising his error. “Uh, I mean, down… the hall?”

Geoff just glared as everyone else laughed at Ray’s feeble attempt.

“That was pathetic, Ray,” Barbara snickered. Ray just shrugged nonchalantly, stuffing his mouth with more fries.

“Where are they, Ray?”

“I just said. They’re in town.”

“ _Where?”_ he growled. Ray just rolled his eyes.

“I dunno. Some café downtown in the park.”

“Get up. I’m driving.”

“Road trip!” Barbara called, punching the air. “Shotgun!”

“Guys-” Geoff tried to protest, but when he saw half the table stand and head out of the lunch room, he sighed. He didn’t expect their whole group to be able to just walk out of the door and drive off, but maybe luck was on his side (or against him, however you looked at it) because no one stopped them or chased after them when they pulled away.

“Where’s this café, then?”

“I don’t know!” Ray sighed, staring at the roof of the car, eyes shut. “Michael said it was the other side of town. He also expressly told me _not_ to tell you.”

“Well, you fucked up on that one.”

“What do you think they’re gonna do, Geoff?” Lindsay laughed from the back, squeezed in between Barbara and the door.

“I don’t know. I don’t care. I don’t care that they’re together. They can do what they want, so long as they do it in _school._ ”

“So you’d let them bang in a janitor’s closet?” Ray said, seemingly half asleep; everyone but Geoff laughed.

After a few minutes of silence, filled only by the occasional snicker, they pulled up outside the park.

“That’s Michael’s mom’s car,” Lindsay commented. “This must be the place.”

“Right, stay here,” Geoff demanded of the car full of teenagers. No one listened and soon enough the entire group of them were standing on the sidewalk. Geoff sighed and shook his head.

*

“I’ll have a pint and a steak,” Michael grinned, winking at the waitress. She blushed and, after, taking Gavin’s order with a sour look, scurried off into the kitchen.

“How did you do that?” Gavin remarked, trying to ignore the burning jealousy in his stomach. Even after what Michael had said that morning, he still worried.

“I’ve been here before.”

“Did you sleep with her?” Gavin blurted before he could stop himself.

Michael looked hurt for a fraction of a second before he laughed. “No, I didn’t.”

“So how did you-?”

Michael pulled out his wallet, taking a card from it and showing Gavin. “Fake ID you dumbass. You think I sleep around?”

Gavin balked, eyes wide. “No! Of course not. I just…”

Michael smirked, one brow raised, resting his head on his palms. “You just what? You think I’m like that? You think I whore myself out to anyone who looks at me appraisingly?”

Gavin blushed at how easily Michael could talk like that. “No! No, just forget it.”

“Even if I was like that, I wouldn’t be if I was with someone. Even if I did have whorish tendencies, I’m faithful. Faithful enough, anyway,” he commented, the mood turning dark for a moment, both of them thinking about the kisses behind Lindsay’s back, the moments together.

Their orders arrived and Michael nodded his thanks, not taking his eyes from Gavin. Gavin just flushed with embarrassment.

They were halfway through their lunch when Gavin, who was facing the large floor to ceiling windows, choked and kicked Michael under the table.

“Ow, you asshole, what was-! Uh-oh.” He quickly turned around and dumped his mostly full glass of beer on the table behind them, trying to act natural when he turned back around.

“Gavin!” Geoff barked from the doorway. Thankfully the café was mostly empty and the waitress was in the back. “What do you think you’re doing?”

Gavin swallowed before grinning sheepishly. “Having lunch?”

“Gavin, I told you last time-”

“All right, Geoff, back down. It’s not the end of the world,” Jack chuckled, putting a hand on his friend’s shoulder.

“His parents rely on me to keep him in line. He should be in school. You both should be!” Geoff said, though his anger was turning into exasperation. He knew he couldn’t really say anything – he’d skipped out on school plenty of times. But Gavin was like a little brother-cum-son to him, and he wanted him to do well, to achieve where he couldn’t.

“Why don’t you join us for lunch?” Michael chimed in as though everything was fine. “It can be a quadruple date or whatever.”

Gavin stared at Michael then. Michael just grinned and winked at him.

It was a date. It was their first date. Or maybe it wasn’t. Was their last trip out a date, too? Gavin just smiled, smitten.

He took a bit of convincing but finally Geoff conceded that they may as well get lunch now they were there. He ended up paying for everyone else, much to his dismay.

Despite his initial anger and frustration, it turned out to be a great afternoon.

Geoff found himself smiling every time he clocked Michael and Gavin huddled close together. He was happy for them. He looked over at Lindsay and was glad to see her laughing easily with Barbara and Jack.

*

Gavin rested his head against Michael’s. After a wonderful day out with his friends, he and Michael were tangled up in Gavin’s single bed. Geoff and Griffon had gone over to Ryan’s to give them some space, though Geoff had given then a strict talking to before he was dragged out of the house by Griffon, who threw them a wink and a sly, “Condoms are in the bathroom cabinet.”

And they’d made good use of them.

Neither of them had really known what they were doing, and it had been awkward and slightly painful, but in the end it had been everything Gavin had dreamed of and more.

Now Gavin was sore and sleepy and wanted nothing more than to fall asleep in his boy’s arms.

“Gavin?” Michael whispered, trailing his hands up and down Gavin’s arms soothingly.

“Mm?”

“I fucking love you, boy.”

Gavin grinned and shuffled to face Michael. It was dark but he could tell Michael was watching him, could feel the slight shake in his hands, hear his heart beginning to race under his ear. Michael was worried.

“I love you too, boy.”

Gavin saw Michael’s mouth stretch into a grin, allowed himself to be pulled into an embrace, a kiss, loving and soft but firm, as if they could show just how much they meant to each other through their lips alone.

Gavin suddenly thought back to the beginning of school, of how they fought and argued, then to the party, to their first kiss at that party. He thought about their entire journey to now, the fights and hurt and hope and heartbreak and … love.

“I love you, too,” he repeated just before he fell asleep.

And he slept soundly; he didn’t dream, because all he’d dreamed of was in his arms.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So that's it! I hope it's not too much of a let down ending. I really hope you've nejoyed this fic as much as I've enjoyed writing it. Thank you all so much. Until next time!

**Author's Note:**

> This is sort of a test run. If nobody reads it or likes it, then I won't bother updating. I'm a bit sketchy with posting this but you've got to start somewhere, right? Thanks for reading!


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